Anyone familiar with the opinionated, loud and -- ahem -- outspoken ESPN personality Stephen A. Smith can imagine how funny it would be to overhear him giving his (fictional) son the ol' birds-and-bees talk. That was precisely the premise of an Onion article that came out Monday, titled "Stephen A. Smith Thinking Son Is Finally Ready For The Sex Argument."
In the article, the Onion's tireless scribes created this hypothetical Smith quote, assumedly delivered in Smith's trademark semi-controlled yell:
He’s at that age where he’s starting to hear some things about sex at school, so it’s important for me as a parent to corner him on his logical inconsistencies and force him to admit he doesn’t have the experience to know what the hell he’s talking about.
Smith, however, is apparently not an Onion reader. A stream of tweets from his account quickly debunked the baseless "lies." To whit:
I thought I'd heard enough despicable lies about myself. Now there's some article out that I have a 9-yr-old son and I'm going to have a— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) September 17, 2012
Conversation with him about Sex. Mind you, I neither have a son nor a 9-Year-old. Some ppl are beyond despicable. No end! Sad what extent— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) September 17, 2012
People will go to. Amazing how folks try to tear cats down, primarily due to perceived power of the spoken word. Damn Shame, but too bad.— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) September 17, 2012
Because I don't intend on going anywhere. Really, Really sad, though!— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) September 17, 2012
But Smith came around eventually:
Haaaaa. The got me. I didn't know it was on Satire! Got it. Peeps got jokes. It's cool!— Stephen A Smith (@stephenasmith) September 17, 2012
We await confirmation on what exactly "on Satire" means, but we think we get the picture. And if you're not sure about who Stephen A. Smith is or why sports fans find this hilarious, the 0:47 mark in this video explains all: