The dragging NHL lockout has already cost sports fans two months of hockey, but some faint glimmers of hope emerged this week when players and owners convened to spend two days meeting in New York City.
But the star of the show? A podium -- or, more accurately, its digital tribute.
First, a small bit of context: There is an actual, IRL podium in a room at the Westin Times Square where players and owners are trying to hash out a deal. That podium is where media briefings are held, and in many ways, it is the physical locus of NFL fans' emotional angst. (Here it should be noted that a podium is technically the platform on which a speaker stands, while a lectern is the object behind which he or she stands behind. But we digress.)
So, when an "NHL Podium" parody Twitter account (because what major news event is complete today without a parody Twitter account) popped up on Wednesday night, it's no huge surprise that it was an immediate hit. It gained more than 12,000 followers by Thursday morning while churning out a series of snarky -- and at times very self-aware -- tweets. To whit:
Oh god that annoying little man is going to come out and stand behind me again, isn't he?— NHL Podium (@NHLPodium) December 6, 2012
Media asking for interviews. I explained I'm an inanimate object incapable of sentient thought. They say no problem, we're used to Crosby.— NHL Podium (@NHLPodium) December 6, 2012
(But seriously, we all agree that parody twitter accounts for inanimate objects are the worst thing in the entire world, right?)— NHL Podium (@NHLPodium) December 6, 2012
Oops. Sorry about that last tweet everyone. I was hacked.— NHL Podium (@NHLPodium) December 6, 2012
It's the second time I've ever been hacked. The first time was years ago, when I was a tree. (Because I am made of wood. It's a pun.)— NHL Podium (@NHLPodium) December 6, 2012
At time of this writing, @NHLPodium hadn't tweeted in over 13 hours but was still gaining followers by the minute. As discussions plod on, stay tuned for more. Or, for an alternate inanimate object perspective on the negotiations, check out @NHLPodium's less-popular-but-more-accurately-named cousin, @NHL_Lectern. Yes, seriously.
Are parody accounts for inanimate objects actually played out, or still funny? Cast your judgment in the comments below.