The downside of being the leading platform for real-time conversation is that you end up getting skewered for your business decisions in real time.
During Twitter's first ever Analyst Day event on Wednesday, the company's new CFO Anthony Noto read off what sounded like a new and extremely complicated mission statement for Twitter: "Reach the largest daily audience in the world by connecting everyone to their world via our information sharing and distribution platform products and be one of the top revenue generating Internet companies in the world."
We have a hard time believing in Twitter's mission statement - "largest daily audience" hmm? #TWTRAnalystDay $TWTR pic.twitter.com/u5A6J2YB4h
— Rich Greenfield (@RichBTIG) November 12, 2014
That statement was wordy enough that Noto stumbled while reading the slide at the event and admitted it was a "mouthful."
It was also so convoluted that Twitter users had little choice but to ridicule it.
Twitter's new mission statement: 35 words, 62 syllables, 4 clauses, 2 grammatical errors. pic.twitter.com/QhUgqE3zZ2
— Dennis K. Berman (@dkberman) November 12, 2014
Twitter’s new mission statement is longer than a tweet. pic.twitter.com/sYS5c9Pbsg
— Farhad Manjoo (@fmanjoo) November 12, 2014
ALERT: The NYSE has halted trading of Twitter to give investors ample time to finish reading new mission statement.
— Dave Pell (@davepell) November 12, 2014
Love Twitter, but have to say that mission statement is one of the worst things I can remember seeing in recent memory.
— M.G. Siegler (@mgsiegler) November 12, 2014
As Twitter's "mission statement" started to gain traction on Twitter -- for all the wrong reasons -- a rep for the company chimed in to clarify that this was not actually its mission statement, but rather its strategy statement.
@fmanjoo Mission: what kind of dent the company makes in the world. Strategy: how we structure the business to do that.
— Jim Prosser (@jimprosser) November 12, 2014
Indeed the actual mission statement, published on Twitter's website, is: "To give everyone the power to create and share ideas and information instantly, without barriers." And that does fit in a tweet.
Still, Twitter's clarification didn't stop Twitter users from recommending a few alternative mission statements to guide the company:
Sponsored Ads. Everywhere. Always. #BetterMissionStatements
— Trent Gillaspie (@trentgillaspie) November 12, 2014
Twitter's newer mission statement: be Twitter but also something that makes money.
— Jason Abbruzzese (@JasonAbbruzzese) November 12, 2014
@jimmaiella Actually, it’s about providing a platform to discuss ethics in journalism.
— Michael Bettiol (@bettiol) November 12, 2014
The digital platform of choice for mission statement critics and their likes. #BetterTwitterMissionStatements
— GianpieroPetriglieri (@gpetriglieri) November 12, 2014
Better @twitter mission statement: Harness institutional and individual storytelling for pleasure and profit. #newsbiz
— NYTFridge (@NYTFridge) November 12, 2014
New Twitter mission: To enable netizens with a powerful engagementification platform, while delivering best in class hyperconnectivity.
— Post-Halloween (@ProfJeffJarvis) November 12, 2014
The worst way to loose your job #BetterTwitterMissionStatements
— Max Lockie (@staphwriter) November 12, 2014
The only platform for sharing thoughts about missions to comets #BetterTwitterMissionStatements
— guan (@guan) November 12, 2014
Information Happens Here. #BetterTwitterMissionStatements
— ranjan (@ranjanxroy) November 12, 2014