Ostensibly, the NFL's annual pre-Super Bowl media day is a chance for serious journalists and laser-focused players to hold interviews and discuss the biggest game of the year.
In reality, it's a decadent, outlandish sideshow that seems to get weirder and weirder every year -- and bless it for that.
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Costumed "reporters," sarcastic players, hordes of media and much, much more all on one field? Paying fans (!!) watching from the stands? Super Bowl media day is not quite like anything else on Earth.
Now that the context is set, let's jump into the fun! Here are eight magic moments from Tuesday's circus.
1. A few people showed up to talk to Tom Brady
Just a few.
Facing a rush like this should have him well prepared to handle the Seattle defense on Sunday.
2. Bill Belichick wore flip-flops and talked puppets
Bill Belichick wore flip flops to #sb49 #SBMediaDay #sbusat pic.twitter.com/rrOEZU6kr2— Izzy Gould (@IzzyGould) January 27, 2015
Notoriously one of the NFL's surliest characters, and a coach who treats the press like the plague, New England's Belichick attempted the mellow look on Tuesday.
When a kid reporter asked him what his favorite puppet is, Belichick gave a ... well, he answered the question. It was weird.
3. The term "reporter" was loosely defined
For real: Who let these guys in?
This guy is equipped with 8 cameras. Hope it doesn't portend a future where 1 journalist replaces 8. pic.twitter.com/vveuS7aJng— John Branch (@JohnBranchNYT) January 27, 2015
'Barrel boy'asks Darrelle Revis why McDonalds doesn't sell hot dogs. Revis:why are u wearing a barrel? #Sbusat pic.twitter.com/YwOnJUdTe3— Monique Walker Jones (@moniquenjones) January 27, 2015
Pick Boy back at Super Bowl Media Day. He's from Nickelodeon. His 7th SB. #SBUSAT pic.twitter.com/9HIHJiqTYK— Gary Mihoces (@ByGaryMihoces) January 27, 2015
This guy will be interviewing people in the worst 'Terminator' outfit. #sbusat pic.twitter.com/mHW0FhWMdj— Chris Strauss (@chris_strauss) January 27, 2015
4. Rob Gronkowski read some erotic fan fiction out loud
Apparently, a woman named Lacey Noonan wrote a 39-page erotic novel, called a A Gronking to Remember, about New England's star tight end and legendary party animal.
Gronkowski read what is apparently the first line of the book aloud on Tuesday. It's about as weird as you'd expect, but he seemed to dig it:
Gronk gonna Gronk, right?
5. Richard Sherman went right at Roger Goodell
The Seahawks' outspoken star defensive back stayed true to form on Tuesday, saying the league's embattled brass should be held to the same media obligations its players are.
Richard Sherman: "Every one of the NFL's personnel should be obligated to speak weekly." Mentioned Goodell specifically.— Mike Garafolo (@MikeGarafolo) January 27, 2015
He's got a point.
6. Sherman also salsa danced on stage with a reporter
Not bad.
7. Marshawn Lynch expertly trolled the NFL
Lynch and the NFL are constantly at odds about his crotch-grabs and his lack of interest in speaking with media. The NFL threatened him with a huge fine if he skipped media day, so Lynch found a comedic workaround.
8. Michael Bennet made a balls joke
Among many other quoteables, Seahawks defensive lineman Bennett discussed -- what else? -- balls, telling one reporter they look like they "love" them.
Come on -- you really didn't think we were getting out of here without at least one balls joke, right?
Super Bowl XLIX kicks off -- finally -- Feb. 1 at 6:30 p.m. ET.
BONUS: 25 of YouTube's Funniest Sports Fails
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