"Hey, Siri, what's the best way to get drunk before 2 p.m. on a Wednesday?"
"Have you considered the Apple Keynote Drinking Game?"
It's that special time of year when fans gather 'round their iPads and gold MacBook Airs to watch the Apple Keynote with eager anticipation of the technology wonders to come. And what better way to ring in an updated iPhone than by getting plastered at your desk and vomiting on your now-old-news iPhone 6?
[seealso slug="16gb-iphone-must-die"]
Follow the rules below, and remember to save room for one more chug.
1. Drink every time somebody says "incredible"
2. Drink every time something has never been done before
3. Chug every time Apple creates the best product ever created
4. Drink every time it's just the beginning
5. Two shots for every confusing joke
6. Drink every time Apple is modest about their product design
7. Finish your drink every time the audience is unsure about clapping
8. Drink every time somebody mentions China
9. Chug every time a woman is spotted on stage (Ha! Good luck.)
10. Drink every time somebody talks to Siri
11. Finish your drink if the Wi-Fi fails
12. Drink every time somebody says "keyboard"
13. Drink every time somebody says they can't wait
14. Take a shot if the pink iPhone is real
15. Drink every time something defies gravity
16. Chug every time you see Bono
"Hey, Siri, what's the best way to sneak out of work drunk?"
"I worry about you, human."
BONUS: You like totally don't need a new iPhone | Mashable Humor