There is a 2014 Commonwealth Games battle going down, and it has nothing to do with sporting prowess.
This high-stakes showdown is between host nation Scotland and team Australia.
Though Australia's uniform was bad, check out Scotland's. Looks like it's a race for the ugliest uniform. #ComwGames http://t.co/hNthIuEu2S— Get Fit and Healthy (@GFandH_now) July 8, 2014
It began when this happened to Scotland:
This Commonwealth Games uniform is the reason why Scotland they should not be allowed to make any more own decisions. pic.twitter.com/pdaXmjR8fD— maniaCAL ROSCOW (@calroscow) July 8, 2014
Australia pointed and laughed, as the Scots paraded their parade outfits designed by artist Jilli Blackwood.
I'll stop complaining about Australia's Commonwealth Games uniform now I've seen Scotland's. Ach! via @TitusOReily: pic.twitter.com/mhE7q1Crnk— kazblah (@kaz_blah) July 7, 2014
They believed it was so much worse than their knitted get-up. "Tartan and blue!" they mocked. "How revolting," they commented.
Scotland was up in arms. The design was compared to “a pair of curtains” or “something a 70s dance troupe would wear”.
The Scots Commonwealth games outfit seems to have been designed by a carpetmaker with a pathological hatred of taste pic.twitter.com/0jZP960hBs— Rees-Mogg (@JakeReesMogg) July 6, 2014
Glasgow 2014: Team Scotland’s parade uniform for Commonwealth Games divides opinion http://t.co/gwNQwUZD0B. Looks like made of old sheets.— Diane R (@WahlDiane) July 9, 2014
My Mum had curtains like that, in our holiday caravan. BBC News: Team Scotland's Glasgow 2014 parade uniform http://t.co/kFjAgmgKzt #garish— Paul WE Ingham (@Paul_WE_Ingham) July 9, 2014
It's like Lily Pulitzer and Braveheart had a baby pic.twitter.com/6atLqpK08V http://t.co/KKGgjE4FeE— Caitlin Kelly (@atotalmonet) July 10, 2014
More than 25,000 outraged people signed a petition “to stop the host nation being a laughingstock."
@garyjkemp Spandau 1 - Scotland Commonwealth Games Outfit 0. Actually, it's more like 9-0. pic.twitter.com/MUnI1VI1eT— smernicki (@smernicki) July 8, 2014
Protester Lorna Gillies, who is disgusted by the outfit, expressed the nation's outrage:
I’m a Scot living in Australia and this monstrosity of an outfit is an embarrassment to our nation. My Australian friends have had a good laugh at it, asking if it’s actually a joke. They won’t be the only other nation laughing. Change it and let our athletes wear an outfit they can feel pride in, not embarrassment.
Protester Alan Scott stated on the petition: "I would not do that to my couch." Simple, effective.
Just figured out the inspiration behind the new Scotland team uniform. #MadMen #60s pic.twitter.com/XfFSbnyyb3— Chris Baldie (@ChrisBaldie) July 11, 2014
At least 1998 was worse.
At least Scotland's Commonwealth Games uniform is a slight improvement on their 1998 version... via @junkeedotcom pic.twitter.com/59N9kSnNm5— Angus Ledwidge (@angusleddo) July 10, 2014
There were redesigns.
I redesigned the Team Scotland uniform. The wigs are optional. pic.twitter.com/oC2ML63D9b— Alistair Rutherford (@alrutherfurd) July 8, 2014
Even readers of The Times of London became outraged and wrote to the editor.
Scotland's Commonwealth Games kit does not bode well for the referendum, says one Times commenter #indyref pic.twitter.com/VBRQ5jZOQP— The Times of London (@thetimes) July 8, 2014
At last count, Scotland still had one fan.
I love Team Scotland’s Commonwealth Games tartan. I feel a suit coming on. Well, maybe a jacket. Well plaid guys! pic.twitter.com/r4FwxtlSyD— Matthew Faulder (@matthewfaulder) July 7, 2014
But then something interesting happened…
As Scots hung their heads in shame, and hid under their ceremonial kilt, Australia made a comeback with this atrocity:
Sports brand Speedo unveiled the ermmm… awkward wetsuit-style swimming outfits.
In one swift glance, everyone's attention moved from Scotland to one unfortunate place: Down Under.
The Scots were delighted.
The Scotsman got straight in, interviewing Brisbane stylist Di Cant, who said, "My main issue is with the green and black suits and the emphasis on the crotch. The shaping in the crotch and with the black leg, something is not quite flattering. It is drawing the eye to the wrong place, rather than to the athletic body and the overall look."
The battle had reached a crisis point.
Who will win the battle of the 2014 Commonwealth Games? We await round three.
