NFL star Russell Wilson and pop music star Ciara are very publicly dating, in case you didn't know. So when Russ gave Ciara a "women crush Wednesday" shoutout on Twitter this week, it seemed pretty corny but par for the course.
The thing ol' Russ forgot, though, is this: You can never hide from the Internet hive.
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First, here is Wilson's tweet, a photo of Ciara accompanied by some text in which he lards on the sweet-talk pretty dang thick.
PM #WCW I kissed her & she had honey sweet lips that were lilac soft w/ a loving & affectionate personality @Ciara pic.twitter.com/qwxXkfWnCK— Russell Wilson (@DangeRussWilson) January 28, 2016
Where, oh where, could Wilson have found such poetic verbiage to express his adoration? Was he inspired by Ciara's beauty? Did he sit for hours, drafting and redrafting the perfect tweet? Or did he just Google "how to describe a beautiful woman?"
Oh, um, yup -- looks like that last one's our winner.
Here's an interesting discovery made by Natalie Weiner, an associate editor at Billboard. It's the first result if you Google how to compliment a beautiful woman, and -- "honey sweet lips," "lilac soft" -- GEE GOLLY THAT LOOKS PRETTY SIMILAR TO RUSSELL'S TWEET.
oh no pic.twitter.com/kpSw16wJHO— Natalie (@natalieweiner) January 28, 2016
WELP. And how did Weiner discover this amazing piece of comedy? She explains.
For the record, I googled his weird tweet bc I thought it might be lyrics (??) -- never could have possibly imagined how sad the reality was— Natalie (@natalieweiner) January 28, 2016
Now please excuse us while we drown in a pool made from our own tears of laughter.