The faux-profound (and profoundly stupid) Twitter bio is quickly becoming the art form for our age.
Twitter comedian Rob Delaney memorably skewered the popular one-word-sentences approach with the subtitle for his book, "Mother. Wife. Sister. Human. Warrior. Falcon. Yardstick. Turban. Cabbage," but that's just the tip of the iceberg. There are about as many insanely incoherent introductory statements online as there are social media users, so how can one both fit the mold and stand out?
Simple: Just refresh What the F**k Is My Twitter Bio.
WTFIMTB, brainchild of Digiday's Jack Marshall, Saya Weissman, and Brian Braike, is a tool that takes all the guesswork out of establishing your Twitter brand, whether you're going for "douchey," "bad with punctuation," or "religious extremist." No matter what, the result will be a caps-lock nightmare peppered with cheap buzzwords -- the verisimilitude is uncanny.
"Here's your f**king bio, genius," the site informs you once it has worked its mysterious magic. Fair warning: You're going to hate the word "svengali" more than you already do. A sampling:
BESPOKE COMMUNITY CZAR, PINTEREST MAKER, PROGRAMMING LIVEWIRE. UR WORST NIGHTEMEAR.
MEME WHISPERER, CORPORATE COMMUNICATIONS VIRTUOSO, CONTENT EXECUTIVE. AND HE SAID. 'YOUR FAITH HAS MADE YOU WELL; GO IN PEACE.' - LUKE 8:48.
DIGITAL RETAIL DESIGN DIVA , NATIVE ADVERTISING DENIZEN, MARKETING SHERPA. BEST. DATE. EVER. .
GIF ROCKSTAR, FACEBOOK SVENGALI, UI CONSIGLIERE. LOVING HUSBAND.
PR REBEL, WEB 4.0 CLAIRVOYANT, IMMERSION WONK. FREEGAN.