Ringing in 2013 properly requires a few things: bottom-shelf champagne, "I survived the apocalypse" t-shirts, excessive sequins and -- most importantly -- New Year's resolutions that may or may not last beyond February.
You promise to lose weight or quit smoking or stop stalking your ex on Facebook, but what about those people that shoot for a slightly different goal in the new year? Sometimes these resolution-makers come up with brilliant challenges and other times -- well, ummm -- they share goals that are more "WTF?" than an adult dressed like the New Year's baby.
1. New Years revolution- Stop using my cat as an excuse for a boyfriend— Laura Leigh Gedeon (@Laurallg22) December 28, 2012
2. New Year's Revolution: to stop fancying a slice of buttered bread with every meal.— Freya(@FuzzCookies) December 31, 2012
3. My New Years resolution is to never by accident walk in on my dad cleaning the shower naked ever again— lauren brady (@laurenabrady7) December 31, 2012
4.My 2013 New Year's resolution? Have less hairy nipples and more hairy armpits.— jimzwall (@jimzwall) December 31, 2012
5.My New Years resolution is to get an EZ bake oven and make weed brownies— LURK $PICE (@XANAXDREAMS) December 29, 2012
6.My New Years resolution is to just try meth once, I'm not going to end up like that guy.— Richie Holiday(@RichieHoliday) December 31, 2012
7.New Year's Resolution: Avoid employing my strikingly-decent impression of Mickey Mouse's voice when having sex— Just Andy (@LeeryLeary) December 27, 2012
8.New Years Resolution: Clean sex toys every day.— Delores Butters (@wooloolooloo9) December 31, 2012
9.So New Years resolution: never ask my drug dealer how her life has been recently unless I have an hour to spend hearing about it— Amy Wears Prada (@Sexii_AMY) December 31, 2012
10.new years resolution- don't smoke weed at school— Nick Shotorbani (@nickshotorbani) December 31, 2012
11.Last year I made a resolution to think with my vagina more and that lead to me getting fired this year so I’m gonna roll with that again— elle rodeo (@elleluminium) December 27, 2012
12.New Year's resolution: become more of a recluse, wear paper towels as mittens— samantharrr (@65thvictor) December 31, 2012
13.new years resolution: leave my dog alone— sarie (@electrashart) December 31, 2012
14.My new year's resolution is to randomly sew one sequin onto every piece of clothing I own.— Sea Lion Sea (@sealionsea) December 26, 2012
15.My new years revolution is to be able to finish a burrito fromChipotle— morgan ring (@ring_morgan) December 31, 2012
16.Eat more Applebee's RT @_maln You all set a New Year's resolution?— California James (@WTF_ant) December 28, 2012
17.my new year's resolution? 1600x1200. RT if you love justin bieber and god— Austin Greene (@Grizzy_Greene) December 31, 2012
18.My new year resolution is to discover how I woke up naked cuz I'm sure I had clothes on when I went to sleep ;_; good morning.. //yawn— ROBBY ヽ(´ｰ｀ ) (@iFyre) December 31, 2012
19.My resolution is to find someone to kiss besides my dog. twitter.com/JessieeeGirl/s…— Jessie Gallagher (@JessieeeGirl) December 31, 2012
20. My New Years resolution is I start snapchatting more pictures of my poop to people.— Thomas Grime (@tommygatz87) December 31, 2012
BONUS: 14 Solutions to Your New Year's Midnight Kiss
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