Unfortunately opening the ancient Egyptian sarcophagus didn't unleash a curse on us

After weeks of build-up, authorities opened the sarcophagus and just found three soggy mummies.
Unfortunately opening the ancient Egyptian sarcophagus didn't unleash a curse on us
A massive black sarcophagus was opened, and sadly did not release a curse upon us mere mortals. Credit: EGYPTIAN MINISTRY OF ANTIQUITIES HANDOUT/Shutterstock

Buckle up, everyone -- Egyptian authorities finally opened up the mysterious black sarcophagus on Thursday that was unearthed at the beginning of July. Sadly, they only found three soggy mummies.

The 2,000-year-old sarcophagus was found during a construction dig in Alexandria, Egypt. According to a statement from the Egyptian Ministry of Antiquities, it may be the largest sarcophagus ever discovered in Alexandria, clocking in at 9-feet long, 5-feet wide, and 6-feet deep. Judging from the layer of mortar between the lid and the body of the sarcophagus, the tomb hadn't been touched since it was closed.

Archeologists also discovered a huge alabaster head in the tomb.

Massive black sarcophagus? Mysterious white statue? Does anyone think this sounds like an ancient curse WAITING to be unleashed upon us mere mortals?

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This huge alabaster head was also found during the dig. Credit: EGYPTIAN MINISTRY OF ANTIQUITIES HANDOUT/Shutterstock

Twitter users were almost excited at the idea of a mummified being bringing destruction to the world, because really, how much worse could it get?

Instead of an apocalyptic event, authorities found three decomposed mummies fermenting in what appeared to be sewage water. Secretary-General of the Supreme Council of Antiquities, Mostafa Waziri, dismissed claims of dooming the world by releasing whatever spirit was trapped in the tomb: "The sarcophagus has been opened, but we have not been hit by a curse."

How unfortunate.

The three mummies, all buried together, were not Ptolemaic or Roman royals. The sarcophagus didn't bear any inscriptions of names, and they weren't buried with valuables like gold masks or amulets that royals would typically have.

Since one of the skulls shows multiple fractures from a sharp weapon, one of bodies belonged to a warrior, according to Egypt Today.

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The mummies were found soaking (soaking!) in red liquid that appeared to be sewage. Credit: EGYPTIAN MINISTRY OF ANTIQUITIES HANDOUT/Shutterstock
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No curses here. Just sad mummies who spent the afterlife  soaking in poop water. Credit: EGYPTIAN MINISTRY OF ANTIQUITIES HANDOUT/Shutterstock

Alexandria Governor Mohamed Sultan said the sarcophagus will be moved to the Military Museum, and the three mummies will find a new home at the Alexandria National Museum.

But if a swarm of locusts takes over the planet, or if the sun is suddenly eaten by a wandering, vengeful demon, let's all agree that we probably shouldn't have opened the sarcophagus.

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