'Skyrim' player's dating life is literally all of us
Dating's tough. But it's damn near impossible when you're a Dragonborn who cannot even with these petty ass NPC boys who are just not on your level.
With a title that will have you screaming "YAS KWEEN," redditor Mugunghwa posted a thread on the Lack of Worthy (Male) Spouses to r/SkyrimMods. All the poster wants is for someone to fus ro dah themselves into their heart, but it's just not that easy when your dragon shout is master level.
Providing the best #whyimsingle situation we've ever encountered, the poster explained that they're "playing as a female dragonborn, and I'm interested in finding a husband at some point. The problem is the lack of worthy marriage candidates."
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It's a problem badass women all around the world, both digital and real, face daily. But luckily in video games, there might be a technical solution to this Dragonborn's bachelor issue.
"At the very least I want to marry someone who is my equal in some way, but considering that the Dragonborn is almost godlike in power, finding a match in sheer power/strength is not going to happen. And finding someone of equal or greater status will also be pretty hard, considering they'd almost have to be an emperor or king."
If you yourself are a female with godlike powers, you're probably nodding your head vigorously right now.
Because, like Skyrim, the eligible bachelors IRL are already few and far between. But finding an eligible bachelor who can actually match your godlike capabilities? It's practically a fantasy. We did hear that a worthy bachelor once existed in Skyrim, but he took an arrow to the knee and hasn't been able to romance since.
The Reddit post continues and only gets closer to home when it laments that the "personality amongst Skyrim NPCs is lacking at best." So the poster's only recourse it to turn to mods of the game that might produce more marriage-material male companions.
God, don't you wish the real world was modding compatible?
Commenters on the thread were happy to try and help this single and ready to mingle Dragonborn with some solutions. They ranged in helpfulness, however. One suggested that, when all else fails, just marry Lydia. Another offered up a mod entitled "Sackman" from the DragonPorn Elder Scrolls fansite. Yikes.
But bachelor number one turned out to be Friendly Brynjolf?, who proved himself worthy because he "will say ridiculous things," but "will stay himself all the time."
Luckily, as it turns out, true love is possible for you godlike ladies out there -- though not without a little compromise. Because as Brynjolf's mod description states, "when you love someone and have him nearby -- it is not a big deal if he says gibberish."
Can I get an amen from all the single ladies to that?
Topics Gaming
Jess is an LA-based culture critic who covers intimacy in the digital age, from sex and relationship to weed and all media (tv, games, film, the web). Previously associate editor at Kill Screen, you can also find her words on Vice, The Atlantic, Rolling Stone, Vox, and others. She is a Brazilian-Swiss American immigrant with a love for all things weird and magical.
