26 things that take longer than it took Eliud Kipchoge to run his record-shattering marathon

On Saturday morning, Eliud Kipchoge did something previously thought impossible.

Crossing the finish line at the INEOS 1:59 Challenge in Vienna, Austria at 1 hour, 59 minutes, and 40 seconds, the Kenyan runner became the first person to ever run 26.2 miles in less than two hours. That's an average of 4 minutes and 34 seconds per mile.

"Today we went to the Moon and came back to Earth!" Kipchoge posted to Twitter. "I am at a loss for words for all the support I have received from all over the world. Thank you to all who gave me the opportunity. Asante."

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For reference, according to Running USA, the average marathon finishing time in 2016 was 4:22:07 for men and 4:47:40 for women — so, 9:59 per mile and 10:58 per mile respectively.

In honor of Kipchoge being the fastest marathoner ever, here are 26 things that take longer than it took him to finish a freakin' marathon.

Because he's better than you. That's why.

1. Faster than cooking a small turkey, without stuffing. (~2 - 2.5 hours)

2. Faster than taking only the two longest sections of the SAT (2 hours)

3. Faster than doing a single family-sized load of laundry from start to finish (~2 hours)

4. Faster than viewing Todd Phillips’ Joker one time (2 hours, 2 minutes)

5. Faster than driving from Philadelphia to Washington, D.C. with mild traffic. (~2.5 hours)

6. Faster than it would take you to get through the average emergency room visit (~2 hours)

7. Faster than fully charging the 2020 Toyota Prius Prime one time (~2 hours, 10 minutes)

8. Faster than waiting for the two most popular rides at Walt Disney World (~2 hr, 37 min)

9. Faster than the amount of time recommended to check a bag, get through airport security, and board a plane for the average flight (~2 hours)

10. Faster than many people can play 9 holes of golf, even with a cart. (~2 hours, 15 minutes)

11. Faster than watching a typical premiere night of The Bachelorette (~3 hrs)

12. Faster than watching any two episodes of Succession (~2 hours, 8 minutes)

13. Faster than watching any four episodes of Friends (~2 hours)

14. Faster than playing Untitled Goose Game once through, assuming medium chaos (~2 hours)

15. Faster than hearing both sides of the Tati Westbrook and James Charles YouTube Drama in their original forms (~2 hours and 10 minutes)

16. Faster than it would take 40 people to get served at the average Starbucks (~2 hrs)

17. Faster than listening to Taylor Swift’s Lover just twice (2 hours and 3 minutes)

18. Faster than undergoing a complete knee replacement (~2 hours)

19. Faster than the time allowed for just the first 40 moves in a championship chess game (2 hours)

20. Faster than safely descending in a submarine to the Titanic (~2.5 hours)

21. Faster than the average New Yorker will spend commuting to and from work just twice a week (~2 hours, 24 minutes)

22. Faster than watching only two-thirds of the average baseball game (~2 hours and 3 minutes)

23. Faster than downloading Red Dead Redemption 2 for PS4, in many cases (~1-5 hours)

24. Faster than William Henry Harrison’s speech at his presidential inauguration (~2 hours)

25. Faster than receiving three back-to-back Postmates orders (~2 hours)

26. And faster than the world-record for a marathon time (2:01:39)

Which, by the way, was set just last year by — you guessed it — Eliud Kipchoge.