Tech giant hacks electronic memory recall of president, plans to use as evidence in impeachment case
Ever wanted to know just how honest the President is? Thanks to a recent White House data breach, your wish might come true. And, honestly, it’s a big problem for the President.
White House Officials have confirmed reports of a data breach in their Memory Content Server. This server was home to hundred of thousands of hours of Redo information, i.e. everything stored on the President Miriana Grand’s MemGrain.
MemGrains, a bean sized hard drive stored directly into the human brain, allowing users to store and re-watch their memories, records everything that the users sees. The technology has been at the heart of many controversies since its release, from a series of forced Grain removals to rising divorce rates due to couples watching each other’s stored memories. However, this is the first time the technology is being used in an impeachment trial, as President Grand is the first President with an installed Grain.
While the practice has been used in court proceedings, especially those regarding issues of police brutality, experts believe this would set a new precedent for accountability of government officials.
The hacker group 1-future is taking credit for the theft. The President, currently undergoing an impeachment trial for bribery and treason allegations, has yet to comment.
“For its crimes, the Alt-Right Party has no one to blame but itself,” 1-future spokesperson said in a video uploaded to the group’s YouTube channel. “As promised, in the future, the government serves its people, not itself. The future has arrived.”
But how much could be stored on these servers? Forest Wickman explains:
“The human brain contains roughly 100 billion neurons [Editor's note: closer to 86-billion, actually, but now we're just being nitpicky]. Each of these neurons seems capable of making around 1,000 connections, representing about 1,000 potential synapses, which largely do the work of data storage. Multiply each of these 100 billion neurons by the approximately 1,000 connections it can make, and you get 100 trillion data points, or about 100 terabytes of information.”
While it is unknown how much data was stolen, the memories in question are said to contain anywhere from 10 to 100 terabytes of information, meaning everything the President has ever done since she her inauguration two years ago. The group has not specified when they would be releasing the data.
The Liberal Party Judicial Committee is calling for the breach to be used in court — this would be the first time an illegal data breach would be entered into court as evidence. Making matters worse, the White House has not ruled out the possibility that 1-future may be working with Russian hackers, further damaging already-strained US and Russia ties.
“It is totally outrageous and unconstitutional to use illegally obtained data in an official White House court proceedings,” said White House officials. “Especially data obtained by terrorist groups and/or foreign nationals.”
A spokesperson for the 1-future hacking group has claimed that they have obtained several thousand hours of information, including confirmation of the alleged crimes. Additionally, the group has claimed that they have evidence in several other crimes committed by the President, which, they say, could put her behind bars, the first time a President has been arrested since Ulysses S. Grant ran a woman over with his carriage in 1866.
