7 awkward office moments we wish we could Warp Strike out of
The fantasy world of Eos is a precarious place. To stay alive, FINAL FANTASY XV players need to be slippery as a salmon and constantly conscious of their magic management skills. And while your Sunday magic management is on point, your Monday time management could probably use some work, what with all the daydreaming of rescuing the world’s last remaining crystal and slaying Daemons of the night.
We can identify with the struggle of taking the identity of Noctis Lucis Caelum, prince of Lucis, at home, and being forced to go by “Todd” at the office.
You’ve probably already used Warp Strike, the uber-addictive Armiger attack that allows players to catapult themselves in the direction of an opponent and strike with lightning speed. The new attack is also a great way to get out of a sticky situation.
Welcome to the seven awkward office moments you wish you could Warp Strike out of.
1. When you break wind on a conference call
The scenario: It’s 4 p.m., you’ve had Mexican for lunch and your intestines are audibly dissenting that decision. You’re holding the line like you’re defending Gralea, but just as the city was befallen by Daemons, the enchiladas break the phalanx and now everyone at the Phoenix, Cincinnati and Spokane offices are inquiring about the interference on the line.
2. When your boss catches you showing up late
Ok, so you gamed into the wee hours of the morning and now it’s a mad dash to get presentable and speed to the office before anyone recognizes your absence. Lucky for you, your boss is touring corporate through the cubicles just as your Olympic-powerwalk to your desk. You’re wishing you could have Warp Striked to work, or out of this awkward predicament.
3. When your coworkers get too drunk at the office holiday party
You’re standing there like an awkward 8th grader at a middle school dance while Jane from accounting cradles a bottle of bourbon like her first-born child. When your supervisor invites you out back for a shotgunning contest to see which regional manager gets the highest Christmas bonus, you know it’s time to aim your sword into the darkness and bounce.
4. When you “reply all” to the company-wide listserv
The office manager has just notified the entire staff that sandwiches will be delivered to the office, and you, the omnipotent multi-tasker, fire off the reply, “Tuna, please!” A split second later, bing! As the chorus of new email notifications erupts throughout the office, you realize what you did, and take yourself through the five stages of grief before coming to terms with the ensuring watercooler coworker side eye.
5. When you accidentally steal communal food from the fridge
You’re on your fourth cup of coffee and you really need a different form of caffeine to fuel your toil, so you innocently snag a cola from the break room. Suddenly, Rick from HR is on a warpath, rampaging through the cubicles to find out who stole his last can. That Warp Strike would really come in handy when he reaches your desk and catches you red handed.
6. When you pull an unfunny office prank
Plastic wrap your boss’ entire cubicle, they said. It would be funny, they said. When the director of regional operations returns to her desk, the snickering crowd of co-workers turns silent when she demands to know who’s keeping her from filing her quarterly report on time. Better find a creative exit strategy when your “accomplices” tattle on you.
7. When your boss sees you printing out your resume
When the culmination of these cringeworthy situations drives you to find a new job, it’s probably best to run off your resume away from the prying eyes of the guy that signs your checks. When he goes to the printer just as your updated resume (with your current job filed under “past experience”), you might as well pack up your things now. But hey, now you’ve got time to find the crystal!
