Most columns on networking are from a business perspective. These authors want you to collect cards and make as many "connections" as possible. But what are you really connecting to?
A "connection" is a poor way to refer to someone you plan to associate with for a long time. A friend is what you should be going for. Friends will help you without hesitation or compensation. A connection might help you, but may also expect something in return. It's hard to build a fruitful relationship with that.
Without friends, your network is useless. And if you're paying close attention to who succeeds in social media, it's always the person with the strongest network.
Thanks to a few years as a Resident Assistant at SUNY Potsdam, I think I might be able to steer you in the right direction. RAs are trained to take a group of strangers and get them to network. If you're successful, you have what's called a "good floor." These networks of friends almost always grow strong, even years after graduation.
So how can we apply the "good floor" model to online social networks? Here are some tips.
1. Avoid the Cattle Calls
You'll want to be highly specific about who you're connecting with, so grabbing as many screen names (or business cards) won't do you much good. Instead, follow the conversations and jump in with those discussing what you're interested in. This is the best way to start a meaningful interaction.
2. Quality Over Quantity
It's a cliche, and we all hate them, but this one is true. Five people who care about you and what you're doing is far more valuable than 1,000 people who aren't paying attention. So once you're listening, hone in on five (and no more) people you would like to get to know.
3. Avoid the Shallow End
Instead, chat with the person about which content is best suited for each to share. It's the best way for social media friends (and roommates) to get the most out of the relationship.
4. Find Common Bonds
Do you know how RAs diffuse tense situations? It usually has nothing to do with enforcing rules. Most of the time, it's finding a common bond between two opposing residents. The same is true for online friendships. Sure, you both love Twitter, that's nothing special. But if you share a passion for the same sports team, or both love New Orleans' "Krewe of the Rolling Elvi," that's even better. If you find that bond and stick with it, over time the discussion will lead to other things.
5. Meet Them Offline
Meeting an online friend has many advantages. These days, people are finding their future college roommates through Facebook and meeting up with them before school. Although meeting an online friend is not always feasible, if the opportunity comes up, go for it. I know some people may find meeting strangers online creepy, but it's an important step, and one that makes the difference between a superficial connection and a real one. Just be careful, and always do your due diligence before an in-person meet-up.
What are your steps for making lasting friendships online? Please share your thoughts in the comments below.
More social media resources from Mashable:
- Top 5 Must-Read Social Media Books
- Social Media Can Change The World Through Common Ground
- 5 Ways Social Media Is Changing Our Daily Lives
- How Social Media is Taking the News Local
- Sports and Social Media: Where Opportunity and Fear Collide