The beauty of English soccer's FA Cup is that it matches Premier League giants like Liverpool against fourth-division minnows like AFC Wimbledon, so anything can happen.
"Anything," as the world learned on Monday, can even include Liverpool -- one of the most storied clubs in soccer history -- getting scored on by an awesomely plus-sized striker named Adebayo "The Beast" Akinfenwa. This came to the delirious joy of the Internet at large.
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Strikers -- or soccer players in general, for that matter -- are typically lithe. Sleek. Speedy. Svelte. Not chunky -- which is just what makes Akinfenwa a hero to many, including the hosts of the Men in Blazers TV show and podcast.
New Hero pic.twitter.com/9Pv8ScGaNQ— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers) January 5, 2015
Akinfenwa, who was once appreciatively featured on a popular website's "Fat Footballers" series, is 5-foot-11 tall, according to AFC Wimbledon's official site. It also lists him as weighing 13 stones, seven pounds; that translates to 189 pounds on an American scale, and seems to be a slightly conservative estimate.
"Since 2008, 'The Beast,' as he likes to be known, has averaged over 15 League goals a season," according to AFC Wimbledon.
Here's the Monday goal against Liverpool that leveled Wimbledon's FA Cup match at 1-1, and made "Akinfenwa" Twitter's top worldwide trending topic for more than an hour:
He showed off some nice skill in the match, too.
When hefty fellas score in football, people get happy. The same goes for futbol, as we learned after Akinfenwa's goal.
CHUBBY MAN GOAL!— Kayla Knapp (@KaylaKnappFOX) January 5, 2015
Is a fat guy goal the same as a fat guy touchdown? It's better, right?— Mike Foss (@themikefoss) January 5, 2015
Alas, Liverpool's Steven Gerrard (who's bound for Major League Soccer this summer) scored twice in the match, which means Akinfenwa's goal came in a losing cause. But still, what a glorious moment it was. Not only did he become a worldwide trending topic, but the hashtag #AkinfenwaFacts became a Twitter Thing.
@KICKTV Akinfenwa makes onions cry #AkinfenwaFacts— Adam (@Oatsiie) January 5, 2015
Yaya you're can kick the ball at 120mph but Akinfenwa can kick yaya toure at 120mph. #AkinfenwaFacts— ShaytaanHackedMyMind (@TheSpan1ard) January 5, 2015
Did you know when akinfenwa goes to the toilet he doesn't flush it, he scares the shit out of it #AkinfenwaFacts— #AkinfenwaFacts (@Akinfenwa_Factz) April 21, 2014
He even inspired this excellent exchange between stalwart Sports Illustrated soccer writer Grant Wahl and Jared Lorenzen, once a plus-sized star quarterback at Kentucky:
@GrantWahl Could not agree more.— jared lorenzen (@JaredLorenzen22) January 5, 2015
So there you have it: why Adebayo "The Beast" Akinfenwa should be your new favorite soccer player. The only downside to Monday's action? That AFC Wimbledon was eliminated, and we don't get to see Akinfenwa in action again in the FA Cup's next round.