Amy Schumer is having a tough time dropping off her pug, Addison, for his first day at doggy daycare. "I got him when he was 10 minutes old. I'm still breastfeeding him."
So Rachel Dratch shames her for adopting a puppy because no one wants to adopt senior dogs. The following exchange is a brilliant tournament of helicopter pup parenting, as the women explain how they are trying their best to shelter the dogs (rescued from Hurricane Katrina and the Sudanese army, of course) from common canine afflictions like Advanced Stage FOMO and severe body image issues.
Of course, there are certain steps they won't take to protect the health of the precious babies, "I didn't get my guy vaccinated, because Jenny McCarthy says it can cause pawtism."