NYC mayor dramatically reads The Onion's fake blizzard of doom speech

 By 
Adario Strange
 on 
Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Although some meteorologists are apologizing for whipping us into a panicked frenzy over the "blizzard of 2015" that turned out to be a dud, don't expect New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio to express any regrets.

Instead, de Blasio is responding to all the critiques from food hoarders and weather nerds with humor, aided by a none other than satirical website The Onion.

[seealso slug="blizzard-boston-yeti"]

On Monday, during the height of the blizzard hysteria, The Onion published a fake report, including hilariously over-the-top post-apocalyptic quotes from de Blasio warning city residents to "reconcile yourselves with your god, for all will perish in the tempest."

But it didn't end there. Faux de Blasio was truly inspired, doling out Biblical-style warnings like, "The furious hoarfrost bearing down upon us knows neither mercy nor reason, and all within the five boroughs will perish, cowering in their brittle dwellings."

On Tuesday, well after it was clear that the blizzard was a bust, the real de Blasio decided that the lofty doom-speak deserved his nasally rendition in what he called "a dramatic reading."

"This shall be a tempest the likes of which has never been glimpsed by man or beast," said de Blasio, quoting the fake report amid chuckles from a small group of reporters at city hall. "Clutch your babes close to your breast and take small comfort in knowing that they will howl for but a few hours before death becalms them forever."

The audio, posted to the Mayor's official SoundCloud account, is proof that, unlike some previous New York City mayors, de Blasio isn't afraid to poke fun at himself when things don't go as planned.

"It's so brilliant," said de Blasio, "I had do to a reading of it."

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