As it turns out, thousands of years of astronomy study has been all for naught, as Bill Nye revealed on Tuesday's Inside Amy Schumer. In fact, he posits, the Universe's main function is offering cosmic guidance to women in their twenties.
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"Try to imagine the universe as a giant dream board on which women pin their wishes," Nye helpfully explains. The ladies of Broad City also drop by to illustrate Nye's hypothesis: "The universe is totally gonna bring you an apricot puggle."
So that explains why we get so riled up about that fact that Mercury is in retrograde.
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