Bitcoin is everywhere these days. You can't escape it, you can't spend it -- you have no idea if you even own it. And you can only pretend like you know exactly what it is for so long.
As a service to the world, Conan O'Brien recruited Bitcoin COO Marcus Ortman (not really) to explain what the complicated tech concept is in layman's terms.
"Bitcoin is an open source synergistic flow matrix facilitating e-transference of digital assets," Ortman says.
Still lost? "Imagine that you are in a snow globe where every snowflake is a unique and beautiful coin-portunity," the COFaux adds.
Oh, fail. Who knows? It has something to do with the Illuminati, we think.
BONUS: Everything You Need to Know About Bitcoin in 2 Minutes