Welcome to life, baby West. Now welcome to the jungle.
No sooner had Kim Kardashian given birth to her baby boy with Kanye West -- Saint West -- than the newborn's swaddled back was carrying the expectations of millions of dollars in branding.
We don't mean the inevitable fame and endorsements the tiny tot will surely have as a member of the ruling Jenner-Kardashian-West capitalist megalith.
We mean, instead, the catchily-named baby, because of his famous parents and their foibles, is already being used as target practice for branding jokes.
A handful of brands like Southwest Airlines and Comedy Central greeted the infant's birth with a hail of product-placement quips, while the Twitter accounts of major publishing houses jokingly launched into a bidding war over the rights to the baby's inevitable future memoir -- a scenario that could plausibly play out in real life a couple decades down the line.
Apparently famous babies are just too appealing a marketing opportunity for brands to pass up: Twitter's logo-faced accounts were similarly out in force for the births of each of the last two royal babies as well.
Yo #Kimye, we're really happy for you, we'll let you finish, but South is one of the best names of all time.— Southwest Airlines (@SouthwestAir) December 7, 2015
We're happy Saint West gets free domestic travel until he turns two years old. Yes, we do this for all babies: https://t.co/8giila2fPd— Southwest Airlines (@SouthwestAir) December 7, 2015
We're shutting down. There's no way we or anyone else will write a joke as perfect as Kanye naming his son Saint West. See ya!— Comedy Central UK (@ComedyCentralUK) December 7, 2015
Just kidding, you guys. It's coming out next year. Probably being published by @HarperPerennial...— Doubleday (@doubledaypub) December 7, 2015
@OverDriveLibs @doubledaypub I think that's the only kind possible.— Harper Perennial (@HarperPerennial) December 7, 2015
It's enough to make you spit up.