22 British words for penis to satisfy your international 'relations'

 By 
Armand Valdes
 on 
Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

The thing about cocks, dicks and penises is they're all just a little bit boring.

The names, that is. In Britain, we pride ourselves on our creative use of language. Why call a penis a penis when you could call a penis a tallywacker, for example? Why call someone a dickhead when you could call them a knobhead, or a bell-end?

To help you add some much-needed girth to your vocabulary, we've trawled the Internet for as many random terms for the British phallus as we could find.

Watch the video above for the full list, or check out some of our favorites below.

Knob

Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Meat Puppet

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Parsnip

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Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Pork Sword

Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Tallywacker

Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

Trouser snake

Original image replaced with Mashable logo
Original image has been replaced. Credit: Mashable

BONUS: NSFW shower thoughts about sex and love

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