Brace yourself: it turns out that Star-Lord is an artist.
One Imgur user discovered that a local Lake Stevens, Washington pizza place, Omega Pizza & Pasta, proudly showcases a Greek mural inside its establishment.
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The painting features a Grecian man in repose, laurels resting on his head (probably a self-portrait), with a torch-wielding goddess towering over him.
The mural was crudely signed by an amateur artist in red paint ... someone named "Chris Pratt."
Upon closer inspection, the restaurant patrons were surprised to see an article featuring a 2003 Teen People interview with the actual Chris Pratt, confirming that the Jurassic World star was, indeed, the artist.
Pratt is apparently friends with the owner of the restaurant, having grown up in Lake Stevens.
While this is a very delightful insight into Pratt's artistic proclivities, we should really all take a moment to appreciate Pratt's statement about painting pictures of girls that he "secretly longs for," which they "will never know about."
Not too creepy or anything, Chris.