A cable television Death Star formed with the announcement that Comcast had acquired Time Warner Cable.
The two titans of terrible customer service haven't won many fans with tricky pricing, amateur tech support and the annihilation of Alderaan. (Wait -- metaphor confusion.) Either way, Twitter users decided to laugh instead of shed tears over their cable bills.
Maybe Luke Roku-walker and Han "Apple TV" Solo can save the day. Sorry.
Wow, a Comcast/Time Warner merger would create a combined customer service department of well over ten employees.— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) February 13, 2014
Comcast acquiring Time Warner Cable is like Nickelback and Creed deciding to go on tour together.— David Hoang (@davidhoang) February 13, 2014
EXCLUSIVE photo of Comcast / Time Warner merger. pic.twitter.com/K0BldvXALk— Ryan Shattuck (@ryanmer) February 13, 2014
Comcast / Time Warner merger is like a merger between swine flu and the bubonic plague.— Gerhard Stiene (@gerrystiene) February 13, 2014
Hey girl are you the Comcast Time Warner merger because you undermine my faith in the basic functions of democracy— Sam Adams (@SamuelAAdams) February 13, 2014
Congrats to the new CEO of Time Warner/Comcast pic.twitter.com/v84UouJuzU— samir mezrahi (@samir) February 13, 2014
Witnessing Comcast and Time Warner Cable attempt to merge is like watching a Borg Cube and a Death Star make love.— Raza Syed (@raza) February 13, 2014
I worry that by acquiring TimeWarner, Comcast is at risk of losing its indie cred.— Dave Pell (@davepell) February 13, 2014
Comcast thought about buying world peace but the demographics were too light in 18-34.— zefrank (@zefrank) February 13, 2014
Representatives from Comcast and Time Warner, when reached for comment. pic.twitter.com/uG90ix5IUG— Wil Wheaton (@wilw) February 13, 2014
Prediction: the Comcast/Time Warner merger talks will be slow, freeze a bunch of times, and eventually have to be restarted.— Matt Goldich (@MattGoldich) February 13, 2014
Excited to see what Comcast does with Time Warner Cable on a scale of swallowing knives to hanging myself like the old woman in Airplane.— Katherine Miller (@katherinemiller) February 13, 2014
Comcast plans to buy Time Warner Cable. They tried to do it 6 months ago but they've been on hold for a representative— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) February 13, 2014
Not believing this Comcast/Time Warner merger until I see them change their relationship status on Facebook.— Steve Amiri (@SteveAmiri) February 13, 2014
So Comcast wants to buy Time Warner Cable for roughly 15 Motorolas. Wow. That's a whole lotta Instagrams.— Bennett Griffin (@bgrffn) February 13, 2014
"Yay! Comcast!" - No Time Warner customer, ever.— Mandi Kane (@TheMandiKane) February 13, 2014
Comcast says the merger will be consummated with a "friendly stock-for-stock transaction." NOT EVEN GONNA USE A CONDOM I SEE. #Comcast #TWC— Jennie Doomsday (@JennieDoomsday) February 13, 2014
Any chance that a Comcast / Time Warner merger could result in BETTER service? Anyone? Bueller? Yeah, I thought so...— monogoggle atook (@labofdoom) February 13, 2014
Comcast buying Time Warner is the first in a series of events that leads to Incredibly Shitty Skynet becoming self-aware— PAPPADEMAS (@PAPPADEMAS) February 13, 2014
I'm hearing that the new company being formed from the Time Warner-Comcast merger is called "Fuck You, You're Powerless, Give Us Money Inc."— Sam Lansky (@samlansky) February 13, 2014
And that's why I don't let cable companies meet my children until after six months of dating.— Josh Keown (@joshkeown) February 13, 2014
All hail our cable overlords. #comcast. pic.twitter.com/zAw7kyS6Mp— BROOKMAN (@jessicabrookman) February 13, 2014
This is what happens when Time Warner & Comcast make a baby..... #honeybooboo pic.twitter.com/iFfwXWWgCO— adam mashaal (@adammash) February 13, 2014