LONDON -- Ever wondered what in takes to become a bonafide twenty-first century gentleman? This British lifestyle magazine has got you covered. Kinda.
Rupert Uloth, deputy editor of Country Living, Britain's premier glossy for rural revelers, has constructed a 39-strong list of requirements for the aspiring social sophisticate.
But between avoiding lilac socks to knowing when to use an emoji (the question should be which, not when), Country Living's list is more WTF than way to go.
There are a few pointers that we can get on board with though. Our personal favourites include singing lustily (though we'd argue non church-goers can also be gentlemen) and negotiates airports with ease (because everyone knows that's impossible).
Country Living's full list of silly steps are below. But remember -- a real modern gentleman wears lilac socks if he wants to.
1. Negotiates airports with ease
2. Never lets a door slam in someone’s face
3. Can train a dog and a rose
4. Is aware that facial hair is temporary, but a tattoo is permanent
5. Knows when not to say anything
6. Wears his learning lightly
7. Possesses at least one well-made dark suit, one tweed suit and a dinner jacket
8. Avoids lilac socks and polishes his shoes
9. Turns his mobile to silent at dinner
10. Carries house guests’ luggage to their rooms
11. Tips staff in a private house and a gamekeeper in the shooting field
12. Says his name when being introduced
13. Breaks a relationship face to face
14. Is unafraid to speak the truth
15. Knows when to clap
16. Arrives at a meeting five minutes before the agreed time
17. Is good with waiters
18. Has two tricks to entertain children
19. Can undo a bra with one hand
20. Sings lustily in church
21. Is not vegetarian
22. Can sail a boat and ride a horse
23. Knows the difference between Glenfiddich and Glenda Jackson
24. Never kisses and tells
25. Cooks an omelette to die for
26. Can prepare a one match bonfire
27. Seeks out his hostess at a party
28. Knows when to use an emoji
29. Would never own a Chihuahua
30. Has read Pride and Prejudice
31. Can tie his own bow tie
32. Would not go to Puerto Rico
33. Knows the difference between a rook and a crow
34. Sandals? No. Never
35. Wears a rose, not a carnation
36. Swats flies and rescues spiders
37. Demonstrates that making love is neither a race nor a competition
38. Never blow dries his hair
39. Knows that there is always an exception to a rule