Bombs rain down on the city.
The roads are cut off. There’s no drinking water. Starving dogs scavenge from craters. Soot fills the air, and it stinks of death.
From his bunker, Marco Rubio broadcasts to the boys on the front line:
“The enemy’s numbers continue to fall as ours go up. Victory is within reach.”
Then he pockets the cyanide capsule given to him by Senator McConnell, and tosses a football to let off steam.
Marco Rubio may be deep in denial pic.twitter.com/sChT8AQ5CQ— Mashable News (@MashableNews) March 2, 2016
As I write, Trump has won six states. He’ll take at least a couple more, and finish second where he loses. Cruz won Texas, where he was in danger, as well as Oklahoma. Kasich may take Vermont.
Rubio finished second in Virginia and no better than third everywhere else. Minnesota, which hasn’t gone for Republicans in a general election since ’72, is his best and only bet.
Yes, delegates are awarded proportionally. But there’s a minimum standard. Rubio, Cruz, and Kasich won’t measure up in most states.
To call it Rubio’s failure would give him too much credit. Failure connotes competition in strength, character, or ideas; Rubio has none of those things. He’s a “ditto” sheet that’s been run through too many times; dull, smudged, often inscrutable.
Rubio is a sitting United States Senator who is going to lose his home state by 15-20 points. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) March 1, 2016
Rubio is the messy, embarrassing, unlamented death of Reaganism. From now on, check your wallet if someone tries selling it to you. The Whigs have more currency.
Hanging tonight’s loss solely on Rubio is like blaming the ventriloquist’s dummy when his jaw gets termites. There couldn’t be a worse outcome for McConnell, Priebus, and all the bastards who sat on their fat butts while Trump poked open wounds in every factory town from here to the Gulf. If you slip in blood this spring, blame them.
Cruz isn’t going anywhere. He’ll pitch tents, charm snakes, and attempt to part the Red Sea.
He’ll tell the Holy Rollers that God made Marco weak. “We love him anyway. But I’m the one who can fight for you.”
Kasich smells blood. Trump is currently at 35% in Michigan, with Cruz and Rubio at 15% and Kasich at 12%. The delegate threshold is 15%, so Kasich could possibly deny Rubio delegates there, then make a stand in Ohio, where Trump leads him 31%-26%.
If Kasich wins Ohio and Rubio loses Florida—where he’s currently down 15-20 points—all hell will break loose. For Rubio the spectacle will be worse than a ticket for loitering.
His people told the Times today that they plan not to win a single state, as though it’s natural for a brokered convention to put the nomination on weak shoulders.
It is not just the size or strength of hands but the delicacy with which they do their work. pic.twitter.com/7XgDUtViNn— Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) March 1, 2016
Can you imagine? I suppose he thinks his big hands count for a free lunch.
As for Trump, the burglar is no longer in the house. He torched it, and now he’s standing at the curb watching it burn and wearing your wife’s fur coat.
It’s a hell of a thing to accept. My God, did you see Christie when he stood behind Trump tonight? I’ve seen happier men go to the gas chamber.
But that’s typical of Christie, I guess. Always the bridesmaid; a foot short, a minute late, the last to realize he hasn’t got a hope in hell of holding office again, much less, I assume, looking his kids in the eye after selling his last decent instinct for what?
It will take someone who thinks faster and further ahead than Christie to get out of this. Someone who doesn’t care what others think of him. Who’s lived through ten thousand fights and welcomes the next punch, and the next, because he always gets up.
I don’t have to tell you who.
Richard Nixon never left us. With the help of playwright Justin Sherin, he continues to speak his mind as @dick_nixon on Twitter.
BONUS: Super Tuesday winners: Super Mario edition