Snackcakepocalypse is nigh.
With the sad news today that Hostess is closing came even more sad tidings: America's favorite golden-hued snack food -- the plastic-wrapped cylinder that has inspired everyone from scientists to ghostbusters to photographers to lawyers to the owners of deep-fat fryers -- the cake whose sponge is made airy by the laughter of children and whose creme is made silky by the tears of the angels -- will be no more. At least in its current, Hostess-hosted form.
Even if America's iconic lard-log is dying, however, its entrepreneurial spirit is very much alive. Which is evidenced by the market for Twinkies and Twinkie-related products that is currently emerging on eBay. According to prices set by the sellers on the auction site, if you want a piece of air-puffed, sugar-soaked, corn-fed American history ... it is going to cost you.
Here's what's currently up for sale and bid on eBay:
For a price of $89.95, three boxes of SEALED Box of Hostess Chocodiles 3x10 Chocolate Twinkies
For a price of $99.99, four boxes of SEALED Box of Hostess Chocodiles 4x10 Chocolate Twinkies
For a starting bid of $500, one Box of Twinkies; Unopened
For a starting bid of $10, and a price of $595, a box of 10, opened and half-eaten
For a starting bid of $5,000, a single Twinkie
And finally, for a starting bid of $10,000 ... a box of Twinkies (one of the last boxes that will be available, its seller helpfully notes, before the Zombie Apocalypse)
Yes. One hopes -- one assumes -- that some of these are just jokes, irony-by-way-of-eBay. Then again, maybe we could all stand to be a little more diligent about preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse. And this isn't the first time. It's worth noting, that eBay has played to host to some overpriced industrial snack foods.
Back in 2000, when workers for the corporate bakery that produced Twinkies went on strike, 20 batches from the ''great Twinkie famine of 2000'' were put up for bid. The top offer? $5,150.