In the late 19th century, inventor Thomas Edison harnessed the power of the underworld and redirected it into the bodies of thousands of tiny "Talking Dolls."
Capitalizing on the wild success of his phonograph, Edison and two business partners founded the Edison Phonograph Toy Manufacturing Company in 1887. Their biggest idea: a doll embedded with a miniature version of the phonograph that could "speak." It was a massive failure.
The wax cylinder records within the body of the dolls were often damaged in shipping, and, according to the New York Times, children found the dolls scary.
You're probably thinking, "What could be scary about a cute little doll?" Before we show you the answer, we encourage you to find a well-lit area and surround yourself in a circle of salt. Then, listen to the following:
Many of the dolls didn't work and others, unfortunately, had clearly become possessed by a powerful demon somewhere in the shipping process. Although the toys were still successful during the 1890 Christmas season -- Amazon reviews didn't exist at that time -- no more were ever produced.
Historians claim that the recordings within the dolls are the first entertainment records ever made, so, in a way, every musical act for the last 200 years has just been riding on the coattails of these creepy, horrifying little monsters.
There are eight Edison doll recordings now online, in case you have a last minute séance coming up and haven't created a playlist yet or something.