In a nutshell, CES is a pit of 150,000 people crammed into Las Vegas' Convention Center for a week of adoration and promotion of virtually every advancement in modern technology.
You've got your basics: Bad food. Strange lighting. Way too many lanyards.
SEE ALSO:
The best tech of CES 2015: Our picks
One thing is for sure, though: This is a terrible place to do drugs.
We sent our own gonzo journalist out into the chaos. This is what he came back with.