As the world around it burned, FIFA ... held a dance recital?
FIFA, world soccer's governing body, opened its annual congress with a ceremony on Thursday night in Zurich, Switzerland. The event was almost bizarre enough to make the Sochi Olympics' psychedelic opening ceremony seem bland.
It was especially bizarre considering that FIFA is currently the subject of a major international scandal, being shaken to its very core and has a lower popularity rating among sports fans than waking up to find you're out of toilet paper.
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FIFA President Sepp Blatter remained defiant as the walls closed in around him. The organization tried to act as if things are mostly business as usual on Thursday, though they are anything but. The strangest part of the proceedings, however, involved the performances FIFA spent who-knows-how-much money on as part of their little self-congratulating party.
Here are eight, um, highlights in GIF form.
1. Dude break-dancing on a soccer ball? Check!
2. Awkward ring-around-the-rosy? Check!
3. Lederhosen meets spandex? Check!
4. Lonely ballerina? Check!
5. Reaching the youths with something more edgy? Check!
6. Kneepads? Check!
7. You Got Served re-enactment? Check!
8. Awkward twirls? Check!
BONUS: There was also this, um, moment
FIFA, you never disappoint (in your ability to disappoint).