The 17 Stages of a Food Coma

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The 17 Stages of a Food Coma

Think back to last Thanksgiving. Your meal probably started out normally enough -- a few slices of turkey here, a few dozen spoonfuls of mashed potatoes there -- and ended with you clutching your food baby while passed out on the couch at 6 p.m. in front of the football game.

We don't blame you. Food is delicious. Food comas, however, are not. Just like a bad break-up, they leave you bloated, sluggish and miserable. That is, until you bounce back and are ready to dive into your next meal.

While you wait for your stomach to return to its previous dimensions, chew on the 17 stages of a food coma.

1. You're ravenous. You want all the foods.

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2. So you place an urgent order at your favorite pizza place for an extra-large four-cheese pizza with BBQ chicken, pepperoni and onions on top. Breadsticks on the side, please.

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3. You anxiously pace around the kitchen while you await the delivery guy's glorious arrival.

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4. HE'S HERE.

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5. Whoa. That's a lot of pizza. You'll just have one slice, you tell yourself...

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6. Mmmm ... One more slice can't hurt.

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7. So tasty. MUST. KEEP. EATING.

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8. You're starting to get uncomfortably full...

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9. But you can't summon the willpower to stop eating quite yet.

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10. So you keep shoveling bite after bite into your mouth until...

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11. Ugh. Done. You promise to stay away from food for the rest of eternity.

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12. You slip into a deep, stupefying food coma.

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13. If you never move again, it'll be too soon.

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14. Your stomach approximately resembles Octomom's.

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15. You vow to start a juice cleanse, effective immediately.

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16. But wait! You just remembered that you have some ice cream left in the fridge!

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17. Let the adventures begin again.

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