25 Completely Bizarre Fortune Cookie Messages

 By 
Eric Larson
 on 
25 Completely Bizarre Fortune Cookie Messages

Fortune cookies tend to have a 50:50 satisfying-to-disappointing ratio.

Sometimes, you'll get a cookie that's stale, soggy and obviously past its expiration date. What's most disappointing, though, is when your fortune -- a term that, for the sake of this post, we'll be using quite loosely -- is less inspirational and more ... you know .. WTF-y.

A quick Twitter search of the hashtag "#fortunecookie" revealed countless photos of fortunes that left users feeling a little short-changed. Scroll through some of the weirdest below.

Have you ever cracked open a bizarre, mean or creepy fortune? Share your best ones in the comments.

So like my grades were really bad and my dad said we're gonna talk when he gets home aND THIS WAS MY FORTUNE COOKIE twitter.com/cunstruct_/sta…— maria c: (@cunstruct_) April 13, 2013

Shocked by the fortune cookie we got post Jewish Xmas twitter.com/samsteinhp/sta…— Sam Stein (@samsteinhp) December 26, 2011

i think my fortune cookie just told me i will soon become a stripper... twitter.com/fouseyTUBE/sta…— Yousef Erakat ™ (@fouseyTUBE) April 6, 2013

Is my fortune cookie hitting on me? twitter.com/samsteinhp/sta…— Sam Stein (@samsteinhp) April 2, 2013

Best fortune cookie ever - twitpic.com/cg6s6o #9gagtweets— 9GAG Tweets (@9GAGTweets) April 1, 2013

horse_ecookies RT @barryap1: Cool fortune cookie. twitter.com/barryap1/statu…— Matt Sussman (@suss2hyphens) March 27, 2013

Hear ya on that one, man.

Hey, I didn't say it. My fortune cookie did twitter.com/DaNaLa13/statu…— ChaoticPerfection (@DaNaLa13) March 16, 2013

Sassy fortune cookie is sassy. twitter.com/awkwardnoodles…— ~rice cooker~ (@awkwardnoodles) March 2, 2013

Is this good? #FortuneCookiehaha twitter.com/PatrickCorbin1…— Patrick Corbin (@PatrickCorbin11) March 1, 2013

This is what was in my fortune cookie.. #cookiesneedtheirsleeptoo #what lol twitter.com/Marissaa_82/st…— Marissa Colon (@Marissaa_82) April 21, 2013

Consider your mind blown! ow.ly/hoSUo— CollegeHumor (@CollegeHumor) February 4, 2013

Had Chinese for dinner tonight - of course this was my fortune cookie... twitter.com/dittowizard/st…— Ditto P. Monster (@dittowizard) February 4, 2013

Might be the most honest fortune cookie ever. twitter.com/TulaneTerry/st…— Ian Terry (@TulaneTerry) February 1, 2013

*cracks open a fortune cookie* what the twitter.com/electrolemon/s…— ☆ lil lemon ☆ (@electrolemon) January 12, 2013

Well if this isn't the most ominous fortune cookie I've ever gotten. twitter.com/gamespite/stat…— Jeremy Parish (@gamespite) January 7, 2013

Look at @ericdecker87 fortune cookie!!!! No way! twitter.com/TheJessicaJame…— Jessie Rose James (@TheJessicaJames) January 4, 2013

Dammit! I was gonna watch the game on TiVo after dinner!

Oh fortune cookie stop it youre making me blush twitter.com/teeawgo/status…— †H|ΔGØ (@teeawgo) November 27, 2012

insightful fortune cookie..? #oh #goodadvice twitter.com/CheerleadingL/…— CHEERLEΔDING L♡VE (@CheerleadingL) November 18, 2012

I just got this, was like having Chairman Mao whisper in my ear. #fortunecookie twitter.com/kasraghanbari/…— Kasra Ghanbari (@kasraghanbari) November 17, 2012

Worst fortune cookie ever. Momma Jones... Say it ain't so. #iwasamistake twitter.com/jonesry28/stat…— Ryan Jones (@jonesry28) August 12, 2012

Nice try fortune cookie. Nice try: twitter.com/HHudsonTaylor/…— Hudson Taylor (@hudsonism) May 31, 2012

“@mial706: @itsthedoctor message in my fortunecookie & i think its for me or for you. twitter.com/mial706/status…” Its Blue. Its for you #DoctorWho— The Doctor (@ItsTheDoctor) March 23, 2012

Best fortune cookie, this from my friend also playing now at @kencen (in Billy Elliiot), Cynthia Darlow: twitter.com/HollandTaylor/…— Holland Taylor (@HollandTaylor) January 12, 2012

Check out the fortune cookie I just got! Hahaha twitter.com/drewseeley/sta…— Drew Seeley (@drewseeley) January 3, 2012

Of course, it could always be worse:

If ur ever feeling cheated or ignored just remember there is no fortune in my fortune cookie twitter.com/harrynstuff/st…— mackenzie (@harrynstuff) February 16, 2013

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