There’s an old joke about a man who reads Shakespeare for the first time and is spectacularly unimpressed: "Why do people call this good writing? It’s nothing but clichés!"
On the blog Least Helpful, dedicated to collecting "daily dispatches from the Internet’s worst reviewers," that clueless reader reviews Homer, Zippo lighters, Target and everything else on the Internet.
1. On The Iliad
2. On Aesop's Fables
Homer’s not the only writer from antiquity who leaves modern readers cold. This guy faults Aesop’s Fables for being overly, well, fable-ish:
3. On The Time Machine
It’s been almost 10 years since an anonymous seventh-grader wrote this review of H.G. Wells's Time Machine. Hopefully, his understanding of science has matured since then.
4. On Marijuana Grower's Handbook
Or maybe the reviewer grew up to be this guy:
5. On the Waterloo Gay Bar and Pub
We can think of many reasons a gay bar might deserve a bad review: nasty-tasting drinks, poor-quality sound system, unfriendly wait staff … but this bar-hopper in Glasgow, Scotland, had a different complaint:
6. On Zippo Fluid in a Can
Disclaimer: We’ve owned Zippo lighters in the past, and have bought Zippo lighter fluid too. It’s true that this next review isn’t exactly overflowing with helpful or informative commentary, but seriously, it’s lighter fluid. What else is there to say?
7. On a Compressed Can of Air
Reviewing a can of compressed air poses similar difficulties:
8. On a Haunted Target
It’s probably not fair to single out Target in this next example. Corporate retailers in general tend to be pretty laissez-faire about spirits of the undead haunting their stores (even stores that offer a great deal on socks).
9. On a Haunted Hotel
And the hotel and hospitality industry isn’t much better:
