17 Funny Moms on Twitter

 By 
Christine Erickson
 on 
17 Funny Moms on Twitter

Being a mother requires a backbone of steel and an unfathomable amount of energy. While their babies -- young and old -- cry, they keep it together.

These women deserve a laugh, and plenty are doing so among family chaos. The Internet is full of valuable resources for moms, but the most therapeutic might be sharing dysfunctional 140-character musings.

In honor of Mother's Day, we salute the realest ladies on Twitter for entertaining us with their maternal instincts. From minivans to macaroni projects, they make motherhood look hilariously cool.

1. @WendiAarons

My son's first draft of his teacher appreciation card: "I know I'm a pain in your crack, but don't throw me back." So (not) proud!— Wendi Aarons (@WendiAarons) May 7, 2013

2. @FunnyIsFamily

I've heard that different textures are good for kids, which is why my dining room table is so crumby. And sticky.— Amy (@FunnyIsFamily) April 20, 2013

3. @PaigeKellerman

Did you know, when kids go to bed, you can hear yourself think again? I sound fabulous.— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) February 12, 2013

4. @Carbosly

My husband brought the kids to a baseball game so I woke them up at 2am to feed them candy. No way I'm losing the "favorite parent" battle.— Carbosly (@Carbosly) May 9, 2013

5. @shriekhouse

Dance like only your kid is watching, cook like no one will scream they hate it, and sneeze like you won't pee your pants.— kristin (@shriekhouse) April 19, 2012

6. @jennypentland

We Polled 100 Moms To Find Their Top 5 Favorite Hiding Spots:5. Psych Ward4. Internet3. Inside Own Head2. Costa Rica1. Bathroom— Jeply Surly (@JennyPentland) May 4, 2013

7. @KelleysBreakRm

Neat birthday party trick: dump Swedish Fish in a small fish bowl, tell all the kids the fish died, stick your face in the water & eat them.— Kelley (@KelleysBreakRm) May 6, 2013

8. @kellyoxford

If you haven't listed every single thing your kid is afraid of and hates to eat and told them "THAT'S WHAT JAIL IS" You're doing it wrong.— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) June 8, 2011

9. @dooce

The singular sign of a parent who is doing their job is their unwillingness to let their children watch the Star Wars prequels.— Heather B. Armstrong (@dooce) November 4, 2012

10. @Smethanie

It'd be cool if my kids could make something I actually want, like a bottle of wine, out of macaroni and glue.— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) April 25, 2013

11. @laneymg

You may not have candy for breakfast, now finish your pop tart.— Laney Griner (@laneymg) May 6, 2013

12. @caitlinmoran

Best thing about Harry Potter: on World Book Day you can just scribble on a kid's head and give them a bin-bag "cloak".— Caitlin Moran (@caitlinmoran) March 7, 2013

13. @jennawrites

Waking your kids up for school the first day after a break is almost as much fun as birthing them was.— jenna mccarthy (@jennawrites) January 7, 2013

14. @thepioneerwoman

I love having teenage daughters because I wouldn't otherwise ever know about songs like Just Give Me a Reason by Pink. I love it.— Ree Drummond(@thepioneerwoman) May 1, 2013

15. @MarinkaNYC

My teen just texted asking if she could go to the Met tonight. Yeah, like I've never seen an episode of Gossip Girl.— MarinkaNYC (@MarinkaNYC) April 2, 2013

16. @robinobryant

Oh HI Mom in the carpool line! I wasn't actually waving, just digging a rogue tater tot out of my bra-- but HEY right back at ya.— Robin O'Bryant (@robinobryant) March 26, 2013

17. @TheBlogess

You know what I want for Mother's Day?I want to stop being bombarded with bullshit commercials about Mother's Day.— TheBloggess (@TheBloggess) May 8, 2013

BONUS: 10 Brilliant Gifts for Connected Moms

[nggallery id=10939]

The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox.
These newsletters may contain advertising, deals, or affiliate links. By clicking Subscribe, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy.
Thanks for signing up. See you at your inbox!