The story's old, but doomed to repeat itself again and again. You're on the phone with the one you love, but they're just stealing hamburgers and selling you lies with a side of fries.
In a new McDonald's ad, the updated Hamburglar and newly minted sex symbol of the fast food world takes a call from his wife mid-hamburger heist and lies to her, claiming to be out buying supplies for their kid's birthday party.
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What is he even doing with all those hamburgers? Hamburglar 2.0 is fit, so he's clearly not eating them all himself. He's either a thrill seeker or out there stealing burgers to impress his mistresses.
McD's is after me (apparently, so is my wife)! Tweet #RobbleRobble to keep them off my trail. https://t.co/JBVThrmHir— McDonald's (@McDonalds) May 12, 2015
The Hamburglar may be cute, but he's not a good guy, and it's time to put your crush aside and give your heart to someone who deserves your love. Don't believe the lies Taylor Swift sold you -- you can't "make the bad guys good for the weekend." He will cheat and he will lie. Unless you're prepared to go out like Bonnie and Clyde, this is not the man for you.
Not everyone is on the new Hamburglar's side. A new, unauthorized web series, OGHamburglar, follows the original Hamburglar's life after Ronald McDonald and Grimace pick him up from prison.
We'll see if McDonald's introduces a Kale Kop and the plot thickens.
BONUS: 5 Horrifying Fast Food Facts | #5facts