Remember that cocky, cool kid in high school? The jock who all the girls liked, who flaunted his special status but then seemed to always back up the big talk?
Then remember when he fell? Maybe his girlfriend dumped him. Maybe he got injured. Maybe that scholarship to Big State U got pulled. Remember how giddy everyone got dancing on his figurative grave?
Johnny Manziel was that kid at Thursday night's NFL Draft.
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Manziel, the Texas A&M quarterback who pulled double duty the past two years as both a demi-god and lightning rod for college football fans, was supposed to be a high draft pick. He's not a surefire star like Jadeveon Clowney, but most expected Manziel to go in the top 10. The production, the confidence, the simple "it" factor -- who could resist?
Plenty of teams, it turned out. The Houston Texans took Clowney with the first pick; no big surprise. The Jaguars took a different quarterback, one with prototypical size but lacking Manziel's charisma, with the third pick. Then the Oakland Raiders -- imagine Manziel in that outlaw silver and black! -- took a linebacker with the fifth pick.
As Manziel fell ever lower, the Internet licked its collective chops anticipating him going to the Dallas Cowboys at 16. Johnny Football playing in his home state for America's Team under the NFL's most infamous owner? It sounded too good to be true -- and it was. The Cowboys, addressing a more pressing need, went with offensive tackle Zach Martin.
With the 16th pick in the #NFLDraft the @dallascowboys select Zach Martin, OL out of Notre Dame. A nation weeps for what might have been.— MashableLIVE (@MashableLive) May 9, 2014
And just like that, the Internet turned on Johnny Manziel. What had already been a modest bubbling of Manziel antipathy -- this Photoshopped beer photo making fun of his penchant for partying, for example -- turned into a full on tidal wave.
How bad was it? Even the NFL itself got into the act, posting this decidedly snarky tweet to its official Twitter page.
#SadManziel???— NFL (@nfl) May 9, 2014
With each passing pick, the anxiety on Manziel's face seemed to tighten as he sipped water in the draft's green room. ESPN viewers stayed glued to their screens to see just how far he'd fall and the mean-spiritedness ratcheted up a few notches. The hashtag #BeforeManzielGetsDrafted took residency atop Twitter's worldwide trending table -- and it did have some admittedly funny jokes.
I will probably catch 'em all #BeforeManzielGetsDrafted— Ash Ketchum (@AshOfPalletTown) May 9, 2014
The final Game of Thrones book will be published. #BeforeManzielGetsDrafted— The Dark Lord (@Lord_Voldemort7) May 9, 2014
Taylor Swift will be in a stable relationship #BeforeManzielGetsDrafted— Kris Scott (@Kris_Scott_) May 9, 2014
But what else would you expect from the Twitter peanut gallery? When brands got in on the trolling schadenfreude, however, we knew we'd reached a low point.
johnny manziel looks like someone waiting for a delivery pizza that will never arrive #DraftDay2014— DiGiorno Pizza (@DiGiornoPizza) May 9, 2014
Heck, one travel site even paid to promote this lame dig.
Johnny Manziel looks like he could really use a vacation right now. #DraftDay2014 pic.twitter.com/P9Gj82oGjb— CheapCaribbean.com (@cheapcaribbean) May 9, 2014
Manziel fell all the way to the 22nd pick, where the notoriously sucky Cleveland Browns picked him up. Making matters worse, they announced the pick on Twitter in quintessential crap-tastic fashion -- only adding to Manziel's rough night online. Here's the graphic the Browns quickly deleted.
22th. RT @sundownmotel: they deleted the tweet but here is the image in all its brownsian glory #22th #twitterdontlie pic.twitter.com/hgdAO1pbLy— MashableLIVE (@MashableLive) May 9, 2014
Manziel is far from the first big-name quarterback to tumble on draft day. It happened to Aaron Rodgers back in 2005, and he turned into a superstar. It happened to Brady Quinn in 2007, and he's been a bust. But Manziel is the first player of his stature, hype and fame to take such a fall in the true Twitter age, in which group-think reigns supreme and snark is a reflex.
Of course, Manziel has always loved the limelight and his Johnny Football antics could be plenty annoying. The noted disdain for certain rules. The signature money-making gesture he flashed after big plays (and even after finally being drafted). The clubbing and partying and palling around with Drake.
But when it comes down it, Manziel was a 21-year-old kid watching the biggest day of his life go slightly off the rails. And the braggadocio that made him alternately loved and loathed didn't come out of nowhere; the media and public love to build these characters up just as much as we love to tear them down.
So what we saw online Thursday night wasn't really about Johnny Football. No, it illustrated more about the rest of us -- our need for a whipping boy, our glee when the mighty do fall, our resentment of all those cocky, cool kids we knew in high school.
In the grand scheme of things, Thursday night's snark-fest wasn't a big deal. Manziel will soon be a millionaire. The Browns are already enjoying the economic boon the Johnny Football Circus brings with it; by Friday afternoon the team had reportedly sold 2,000 new season ticket packages and visits to its official website were reportedly up 800%. Manziel will continue to live under the spotlight's harsh glare. He's a pro now, and it's justified.
But the reason we all love sports beyond wins and losses, touchdowns and tackles, is for the ways they reflect larger truths about our collective state of being. The picture all those tweets, hashtags and half-baked jokes reflected back on us on Thursday night was an ugly one indeed.
Ultimately, Thursday's Manziel schadenfreude orgy says a lot more about us than it does about him.