This story is brought to you by the year 2014, in which everything's a meme and anything can be a marketing ploy.
The Toronto Raptors are giving away lint rollers at their Wednesday evening NBA playoff game against the Brooklyn Nets, ending (we hope) an eight-day saga that began when Drake -- yes, that Drake, which we'll get to in a minute -- used one of the sticky cylinders to brush some dirt off his shoulder lint off his pants at a game last week.
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Drake, the international rap star who hails from Toronto, was named the Raptors' "global ambassador" in September 2013. So he was at the Raptors-Nets game on April 22, when NBATV cameras caught him courtside, vigorously lint-rolling his right leg (starting from the top and rolling downward, for the record).
This video of the lint rolling in question has been watched more than 200,000 times in eight days.
So yeah, you could say people got excited. Memes were made. Drake poked fun at himself on Instagram. Then a fan made this lint roller featuring a raptors logo, lint and the logo of Drake's OVO record label.
What does everybody think of this here... @Drake @Raptors #WeTheNorth #NoLint pic.twitter.com/cqIC3yEPUu
— Ryan (@RyanJHTurvey) April 25, 2014
Next thing you know, it's April 30 and the Raptors are facing the Nets in pivotal game five of their playoff series. To pump up the home crowd, the Raptors don't give away thunder sticks. No, they partner with a company that makes dryer sheets to give away .... these.
Limited edition for Game 5... ready to roll. Thanks @BounceFresh! @Drake #OVO #WeTheNorth #RTZ pic.twitter.com/BBAOlDBTgs
— Toronto Raptors (@Raptors) April 30, 2014
The lint rollers, however, are "limited edition" according to the team, and lucky fans who received lint-roller vouchers will have to pick up their items after the game over in section 117. Here are the vouchers, which some Raptors fans and media have gleefully tweeted out from Air Canada Centre.
So this is a real thing in Toronto. pic.twitter.com/pYsyTKP5UV
— Jim ICE (@Jim_ICE) April 30, 2014
A free 'Drake Lint Roller' for those sitting court side tonight. #Raptors pic.twitter.com/SJTFMvjDYJ
— Eric Prime (@PrimeSN590) April 30, 2014
You can bet section 117 is sure to pop off after the game when everyone goes to collect their lint rollers. Meanwhile, Swedish interlopers IKEA tried to pull their own lint roller stunt, handing out freebies before the game.
No lint in our house! We're giving out IKEA lint rollers before tonight's game. Details to come. Go T.O. #WeTheNorth pic.twitter.com/zbw78amwFO
— IKEA Canada (@IKEACanada) April 30, 2014
But wait -- lint-roller drama! This, per the Toronto Star:
However, IKEA won’t be allowed to distribute them on [Air Canada Centre] property, said Dave Haggith, spokesperson for Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment, adding the company has “zero association” with the team.
So, to recap: In Toronto we have a sanctioned lint-roller promotion and a rogue, unsanctioned lint-roller promotion going head-to-head all because a sensitive, fairly emo rapper casually decided his dark pants weren't quite on-point enough during an NBA game.
What hell hath you wrought, Internet? What hell hath you wrought!?!