What America wouldn't give to know what's running through Joe Biden's head right now.
We're mere hours away from the first Democratic debate -- where CNN literally has a podium waiting for Biden -- and America is on the edge of its seat to see if the veep will join Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, Martin O'Malley, Lincoln Chafee and Jim Webb on stage.
OK, fine, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration.
One thing is for certain, though. If Biden does throw his aviators into the ring at the last minute, he'll do it in style. Here are some of the more plausible options.
1. He parachutes in.
2. "Did anyone order ice cream? Heyooo!"
3. He reveals himself from beneath Harry Potter's Invisibility Cloak.
4. He plants himself in the audience with a fake mustache, remaining silent until an appropriate lull, at which point he jolts up, yells, "Did someone say Biden?" and strips off his mustache. [Audience gasps.]
5. He takes a cue from Putin.
6. He cruises in on a hoverboard, natch.
7. He rolls up in a Corvette.
8. He struts in on a high wire.
9. He rolls in on that train of dogs.
