10 sinister Santa Christmas cards

He knows if you've been bad or good.
For his part, he's been exclusively bad.

Chris Wild

Late 19th-early 20th century

"Now then, children, let's see what old Santa's got for you. How about a Yoko Ono shield and spear set? Or a Punch mannequin? Or a spade? Or a gun?" Credit: Francois Lochon/Gamma-Rapho/Getty Images

"Careful with that tree, Santa. You'll do yourself a mischief. Seriously. Even the old man in your boot is concerned." Credit: Mark Rucker/Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

"I can see you. You can't see me, but I can see you." Credit: Popperfoto/Getty Images

"You know, people often ask me, 'Santa, what do you do with the children who've been bad?' Here's the answer: I pretend I'm dead and beat them with a bunch of sticks tied up with a ribbon. Happy Christmas." Credit: Getty Images

"My, what a disproportionately immense head you've got, Santa. Which you've wreathed in holly. Sharp, sharp holly. OK, I'm outta here." Credit: Hulton Archive/Getty Images

"I'm going down there. (Wink.)" Credit: Mark Rucker/Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

"Oh, another doll, Santa, that's... kinda like my other doll, only blue. Nice. Wait, where are you?" "I'm in a parallel universe accessed via a porthole in the night sky. Check it." Credit: Mark Rucker/Transcendental Graphics/ Getty Images

"Greetings, children, I am Super Santa. Admire my cloak, then allow me to spin you a spool of thread from my extraneous beard hair. Wait, come back..." Credit: Transcendental Graphics/Getty Images

"Just remain absolutely still and maybe he won't see us... OMG, he's turning around..." Credit: Francois Lochon/Gamma-Rapho/Getty Images

"Go ahead, elf, make my day." Credit: GraphicaArtis/Getty Images