Ugh! Books are just the worst, right?
Well, independent publisher (and Twitter all-star*) Melville House thinks so.
[seealso slug="internet-a-book-hashtag-wars"]
On Monday, the company tweeted a simple challenge:
for every like this tweet gets, i will tell you one thing I dislike about books pic.twitter.com/aWsy9DZmVp— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
So began one delightfully weird, totally reasonable takedown of books.
Okay, so Melville House is more than likely trolling us (we hope), parodying the "1 like = 1 [blank]" challenges that are currently making their way around Twitter.
That doesn't make their answers any less hilarious though. Check out our favorite responses below. And you can find the whole thread here.
3. books talk shit about you when you leave the room— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
5. books killed my entire family— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
9. one time I saw a book throw a candy wrapper directly into a stroller— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
19. they dinged your car and blamed Amazon— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
21. they stole your phone and made a picture of Ted Cruz the lock screen and then changed your password— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
22. the spaghetti incident....they know what they did— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
33. they made me join Snapchat— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
35. they're shaped like paintings but they're not paintings— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
36. on average, they are 10% sawdust and 80% regret— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
37. jorts— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
45. they keep texting your dad, like they're friends...like, that's weird, right?— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
69. lol— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
80. books broke all my vape rigs— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
89. they scoop YOUR bagels— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
*chugs entire cooler of gatorade* okay, everyone who fav'd the original tweet is a monster, we'll resume this later,— Melville House (@melvillehouse) March 7, 2016
*Not playing favorites. It's just that they tweet things like this and this which are pretty all-star tweets, IMO).