Netflix is rumored to be considering a 13-episode series spinoff of Full House, titled Fuller House, starring D.J. and Kimmy. (Haven't you wondered every day of your life what those two are up to in their late 30s?)
This is by and large a terrible idea because Full House is a relic of the '90s -- even the theme song references things children today don't know about: the milk man, the paperboy, evening TV.
If this must happen, though, Mashable is going to have a say in its direction. For Netflix's consideration, we've drafted 10 Emmy-worthy plots for a 2015-appropriate Full House. And we included all the characters, because what is Full House without Uncle Jesse and Michelle?
But really, have mercy on us, Netflix. Don't let this happen.