Cutting crusts off sandwiches, picking the marshmallows out of Lucky Charms, not having any of their food groups touching on the plate — it's time for us all to accept the fact that kids are the original foodies.
A new Instagram account called "MyKidCantEatThis" is inviting parents to provide evidence of their child's food-fussiness by posting photos of the food they have served, as well as an explanation for why their kid refuses to eat it.
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The kids' explanations range from semi-understandable ...
#mykidcanteatthis because I Ieft the skin on... #howdareyou #dontyouknowmeatall -Amanda Smith A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 10:56am PDT
... to physically impossible.
"The centers of the bagels are off limits. Only the outer edge is good. More bagel please. #mykidcanteatthis" -Stacey Maddox A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 9:40am PDT
To be fair, though, discerning palates require choice ingredients.
#MyKidCantEatThis because he can only eat frosting. -Vanessa Lopez A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 21, 2015 at 4:08pm PDT
And all it takes is one suspicious ingredient to throw off the entire dish.
#MyKidCantEatThis because of this single bell pepper. - @Shellyyelnats A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 19, 2015 at 4:02pm PDT
"Broken crackers? Seriously? What is this, amateur hour, mom?"
My kid can't eat this because all of the intact crackers have been contaminated by the broken cracker and we're out if Ritz. #MyKidCantEatThis A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 9:06am PDT
Fortunately, any offensive food can be transformed with the addition of a simple ingredient: SPRINKLES. Bean dip getting you down? Just add some sprinkles. Obviously.
#MyKidCantEatThis without sprinkles. (Beans bowl) - Melissa De Leon A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 9:46am PDT
It should also be noted that sprinkles can turn a plain old bagel into a donut. It's science.
"#mykidcanteatthis bagel, but add a few sprinkles and a doughnut appears! Magic." -Ashley Marcy A photo posted by My Kid Can't Eat This (@mykidcanteatthis) on Apr 13, 2015 at 3:09pm PDT
Moral of the story: Don't even think about trying to pull any of these shenanigans, parents. Or you could end up with a "Reasons My Son Is Crying" situation.
For more food travesties, you can follow "MyKidCantEatThis" on both Instagram and Facebook.