Just when you thought ugly Christmas sweaters couldn't get any weirder, the Internet is here to prove you wrong.
One Etsy store is selling festive "sexy ugly Christmas sweaters" that feature -- disclaimer for photos ahead -- some skin.
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The sweaters are cut to reveal one of the wearer's actual breasts -- not plastic -- and come with a pompom pastie and stick-on eyes.
"The hole in the sweater is pre-cut and sewn around to prevent fraying," the product description on the Etsy page reads. "This sweater can be used again, you'll just need to apply more adhesive to the reindeer antlers and nose."
They are not, however, intended for breastfeeding; the googly eyes could clearly pose as a choking hazard.
And before you get jealous, men...
If you're willing to pony up $50 per sweater, these will certainly make a -- err -- statement at your office holiday party. Just be careful around HR.