Just when you thought Portland couldn't get any weirder, this happens.
Hundreds of dildo have suddenly appeared on Portland's power lines, with no explanation. The nunchuck phalluses have been spotted above restaurants such as Salt and Straw and Por Que No? in north Portland; more are being discovered every day.
[seealso slug="sewage-beer"]
There have been a couple theories about the surplus of dildos. One Reddit thread seems to point towards a man with access to a shipping container full of dildos; another user seems to think it was a factory screw-up and a store is just giving them away.
Who knows where exactly where these dildos are coming from, but it's a far better way to kick off the acockalypse (sorry) than a swarm of locusts.