Leaping, sliding, heading, kicking, splaying, spazzing, sprinting, lunging -- the opening weekend of the 2015-16 Premier League season featured goals of all stripes.
But maybe you were busy, you know, playing outside or doing other fun summer weekend things, and didn't have time to park it in front of the TV for a dozen hours. If so, have no fear -- we've got you covered.
[seealso url = "http://sale-online.click/2015/08/06/premier-league-preview-2015/"]
Saturday's opening day of the Premier League season featured 20 goals across six matches. You -- yes, you there in your cubicle with that case of the Mondays! -- can watch every last one of them in the video embedded here:
If you're curious what all those goals actually led to, Premier League opening day went like this: Manchester United beat Tottenham 1-0, Aston Villa beat Bournemouth 1-0, Crystal Palace beat Norwich City 3-1, Leicester City beat Sunderland 4-2, Watford drew Everton 2-2 and Swansea City drew Chelsea 2-2.
Sunday's main highlight, meanwhile, was a West Ham fan getting a commemorative butt tattoo after The Hammers upset mighty Arsenal.
And on Monday, NBC extended its deal to continue broadcasting Premier League games for another six seasons after the one that just began, meaning fans in the United States will continue getting early-morning doses of goals -- and butt tats -- for years to come.
Hashtag-blessed in America, y'all.