LONDON -- Sorry America, but for too long your weedy "football" players have been hogging all the limelight. Now that the Rugby World Cup is mere hours away from dump tackling its way onto our screens, it's time to brush all that NFL nonsense to one side and bring out the big guns.
To settle an old argument once and for all, we've put together the following eight reasons why rugby is clearly the more hardcore of the two sports.
1. Rugby players don't need all that padding.
Padding? Helmets? Pah. Just give a rugby player a gum shield and they're good to go.
2. And they don't let little things like a broken nose get them down.
The woman casually spitting out a mouthful of blood in the clip above is Georgia Page, who carried on playing in a Rugby Sevens game even after her nose was broken during play.
3. There are tackles like this.
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Everyone always goes on about how hard American football players tackle each other, but rugby players hit pretty hard too (and, again, they don't have all that padding to cushion the blow). The clip above is of Stade Francais' Antoine Burban taking down Perpignan's Watisoni Votu in a French rugby union game.
4. And this.
The guy doing the tackling in that clip is Brian Lima. His nickname was "The Chiropractor," and you don't get any prizes for guessing why.
5. And blokes like this.
This absolute bear of a man is former French international Sébastien Chabal. Chabal doesn't actually play professional rugby any more, but back when he did his sheer presence alone was enough to reduce grown men to tears.
Here are some more photos of Chabal looking intimidating:
On second thoughts, maybe scratch that last one.
6. Rugby players actually get muddy sometimes.
Almost all rugby is played on grass, which means that a little bit of rain can lead to a lot of mud. American football, on the other hand, is played on boring old artificial turf, and most of the stadiums have roofs to further reduce the risk of players actually having to get their clothes dirty.
7. Rugby players don't have to stop for a chit-chat every 30 seconds.
With American football it often feels like there's way more time spent discussing stuff and waiting around than there is actually playing the damn game.
In rugby, there are two 40-minute halves separated by a 10-minute half-time break, with minimal interruptions throughout. In American football, though – according to research carried out by The Wall Street Journal back in 2010 – there are only 11 minutes of actual action in any given game, compared to 17 minutes of replays and 67 minutes of "players standing around." What's that about?
8. And, finally, because J.K. Rowling says so.
The Harry Potter author regularly tweets along to rugby games, and she's not afraid to put the odd American football supporter firmly in their place.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No. Why do I even watch this game?— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 5, 2015
@jk_rowling can always switch to American college football. Starts today— Eric Steltzer (@ESteltzer) September 5, 2015
Real men don't wear shoulder pads, Eric. https://t.co/FnuUyiHl6A— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) September 5, 2015
You tell him, Jo.