Contrary to popular belief, celebrities are not just like us.
They are so beyond us, that even their tales of drunken arrests put us to shame. Case in point: Shia LaBeouf explaining to Jimmy Kimmel the insane story behind his run-in last June with the law.
Apparently the incident involved lots of whiskey, grabbing Alan Cummings' butt, chasing a homeless man, a Broadway play, feeding a woman strawberries, spitting on a cop's shoe and a McDonald's egg sandwich.