DEBALTSEVE, Ukraine -- I suppose there is some comfort in that she can hear anything here except shelling.
Comfort, too, perhaps that she can at least be here -- above ground and still alive.
Nadezheda, above ground after several weeks of hiding, is slowly stooping among wooden pallets, sacks of stinking rotting onions and potatoes.
Sacks of spuds and onions left by retreating Ukrainians ~ Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/05rgaqxvkc— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
This was where the Ukrainian Army stored their food during their bloody and ultimately futile defense of Debaltseve. And this is where the rout began -- the chaotic, terrified retreat.
Now, in a town that has had no running water or power since January, the residents come here to survive.
Locals grab whatever they can from overun Ukrainian base ~ Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/TttDgR1X2G— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
For 75-year-old Nasezheda, it has come down to this: Bending and clawing in the frozen dirt for the discarded pasta shells left behind as the Ukrainian forces fled.
76 yo Hope scrabbles pasta shells from the dirt - Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/rhFnY5x4QF— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
Bent, drained, despairing, she breaks down, recalling life underground.
"We thought we would be burned alive. We prayed to a thousand gods until there were no more left to pray to," she says. "It is hell."
She reached her 75th birthday on Valentine's Day -- underground and under unrelenting bombardment as pro-Russian and actual Russian forces surrounded the town and kept pounding it.
"All the time it went on: The noise! The noise!" she says.
Not far away lies the pathetic evidence of the rout the Ukrainians suffered.
This is a guitar in Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/L9MLD39ChC— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
A smashed guitar among the clothing and porn scattered all over the place amid spilt food, discarded boots, a smashed kettle and -- yes -- a helmet peppered with the holes of shrapnel or a bullet.
Debris of battle - Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/mHo6UWSatt— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
This is a frozen, mud-brown place filled with eviscerated, blackened vehicles and buildings. Even the fields of the frozen steppe outside town has been cratered with shell holes as the rebels honed their sights on a checkpoint on the main road northeast to Russia.
Ukrainian base - Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/N3lBpfn4mH— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
Along came the Cossacks, black and red Russian hats. From an armored personnel carrier one smiles to us and says: "You tell the world: It was the Cossacks who took Debaltseve."
Perhaps.
On the armored personnel carrier just behind him are more taciturn types, all balaclavas, helmet microphones and seriously well-equipped.
To me, they look special forces to a man. Faces masked but with revealing Russian accents. One tells us straight up: "I'm from Moscow -- what about you?"
Rebel fighter - Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/8hLy6NdRWk— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
When the city fell, Vladimir Putin enjoyed a little jab at Kiev: "I know it's tough to lose to a bunch of coalminers and tractor drivers," he said.
Well, Vlad -- come here and check out these guys today on the rubbled streets of Debaltseve.
Some coalminers...
Some tractor drivers...
Rebel fighter badge - Debaltseve pic.twitter.com/4dMaVa1pq7— alex thomson (@alextomo) February 20, 2015
Truly this is unforgiving terrain. Napoleon lost it. Then Hitler. Now Ukraine itself retreats westward.
It felt almost symbolic that our car was punctured by a bullet case in the way into town and almost punctured by shrapnel again on the way out. We made it out, however, and back south to Donetsk.
Just east of Debaltseve, thundering eastward and thus away from the fighting zone, was a long convoy of trucks carrying Grad missile launchers. An optimist will say it is proof that the heavy weapons are being withdrawn. A pessimist will tell you they're redeploying to a new front opening up somewhere else.
Nasezheda, for her part, is a realist, just trying to survive.
Her name means "hope" in a place that so cruelly lacks it.
Alex Thomson is Chief Correspondent at Channel 4 News. In more than 25 years, he's covered over 20 wars; led major investigations and continues to front the program from around the world. An award-winning journalist, he has written two books about the 1991 Gulf War and a travelogue about cycling across India.