Unless you're living under a rock, you've noticed food pop culture is everywhere.
Pretty much every TV network has a food show of some kind; restaurant reservations are as sought after as sold out concerts; debating NYC’s best pizza is something of a competitive sport.
Even online dating pickup lines aren’t exempt from food’s sweet and savory pull.
Some are harmless, fun conversation openers. Most are cheesier than your arteries after a pile of nachos — downright unappetizing.
“Cool Ranch or Nacho Cheese?”
The finer points of a relationship: 3D Doritos. Maybe hold out for someone who opens with a “kale or quinoa chips"?
Nope, not that either.
“Pancakes or waffles?”
It seems your potential suitor is already thinking about the morning after. If that’s the case, thanks for the heads up, I guess.
“Are you a soda? Because I want to Mountain Dew you."
It didn't work in fifth grade either.
“Yogurt. Cereal. Soup. [Your name] from Tinder: These are all things I want to spoon.”
Props for going with spoon instead of fork, though.
“Do you like tacos and butt touches?”
It’s best to respond with something equally aggressive here, like “Do you like hot dogs and face punches?” and hope it puts them off forever.
“How do you feel about me rubbing Nutella all over your body?”
The forwardness is appalling and the visual is completely unwelcome. Plus, that would be a colossal waste of Nutella.