Snacking isn't America's national sport, but it might as well be.
There is nothing as enjoyable as curling up on the couch with a full DVR and a bowl full of...no, a plate stacked with...maybe a bag of...everything? You can't decide what snack to pair with your show.
After all, you can't eat chili with Game of Thrones (no one wants to eat something that looks like human entrails while watching so many human entrails), and snacking on imported brie while watching Orphan Black just seems wrong.
Here's a helpful primer to make sure that your snack of choice matches your show of choice. All you need to bring is the remote.
Game of Thrones — Foreign potato chips and candy
In a world filled with violence, treachery and unspeakable acts of betrayal, you need something you can count on, something soothing. But also slightly exotic because, hey, all those accents put you in the mood. Dig into your stash of British crisps and lollies for something that won't turn your stomach when someone gets his eyes pulled out through his bellybutton.
I am Cait — Manchego cheese with quince paste and a baguette
You want to unwind, indulge yourself and let your hair down. It's time to pull out the cheese you spent way too much money on, the bread that is giving you huge thighs and the quince paste that you got talked into at the farmer's market by that adorable Amish farmer. Enjoy this elegant treat and celebrate as you watch Caitlin embrace all she is and all she is yet to become.
Orphan Black — Mom's matzo ball soup
You need something comforting and familiar, something you can rely on in the crazy world that is Clone Club. Mom's matzo ball soup is perfect — you can't choke on broth when you gasp, the matzo balls are soft enough to gum when you sob too hard. It's basically an edible blanket to cozy up with when Sarah Manning's world gets cray. Noodles are optional but highly recommended.
The Bachelor(ette) — Box wine and a bag of beef jerky
You don't know why they are crying at the rose ceremony? Drink a little more and you'll sob right along with them. Feeling disconnected as they shoot clay pigeons on an outing in Montana? Chow down on beef jerky until you're singing "Home on the Range." They are judged by all of America; you're just judged by your cat.
Broad City — An entire pizza, a box of Entenmann's donuts and a bag of weed
You know why this is the perfect snack. If you don't, you've simply never watched an episode of Broad City.
The Affair — A dozen oysters and an icy martini
This sultry, mysterious show, which returns for its second season Oct. 4, oozes sex and there's no better way to immerse yourself in the drama and deception than with the original aphrodisiac. Be sure to include mignonette sauce to cut the oysters' brine and keep that gin on ice — it's going to get steamy.
True Detective — A bag of White Castle sliders
Because the first burger always tastes so great and the second one tastes so disappointing. You get the picture.